If they never want children and you’re 100% interested in having kids one day, that’s a perfectly reasonable reason to not continue dating. You two might be sexually incompatible. If you just can’t get on the same page in the bedroom, it’s okay to move on. Illegal behavior, violence, and abuse are all major red flags.
If your love language is physical touch and the other person isn’t particularly touchy, or you really need security in a partner but they’re very noncommittal, it’s reasonable to not pursue this further.
At the same time, if you are looking for something serious and you think this person might be “the one,” that’s a sign that the relationship is probably worth pursuing.
It’s very possible to be deeply in love with someone who is bad for you. Try not to overly romanticize the impact this person has in your life if there are red flags in your relationship.
The “bad boy” or “bad girl” thing can be fun for a while, but they don’t tend to make awesome long-term partners. If you were attracted to their edgy, dangerous aura at first, it’s okay if that feeling fades and you’re ready to move on.
Is religion driving a wedge between you two? It can be extremely difficult for some people to get past that. Do you have deep political beliefs that don’t align with your partner? This is another tough roadblock for some couples. Whether you want children in the future or not can be a dealbreaker for couples, even if having kids isn’t on the table right now.
The fear of labels is a big sign that you two don’t want the same thing. If they get nervous or anxious about being called your girlfriend or boyfriend, they don’t want to commit. At the same time, if you really like this person, it may be worth trying to wait them out. At least for a little while. Maybe they change their mind in a month or two after they get to know you better. On the flip side of this, it means you may want to call the relationship if you’re the one resisting labels and shying away from commitment. It’s a signal that your heart really isn’t in it.
If you’re having fun with this person, go ahead and stick with it. Even if you don’t know how far the relationship can go, there’s no need to put an end to a good thing prematurely. If you don’t want to keep falling for this person because you know you can’t be together in the future (i. e. going away to college, moving to another city), it’s okay to end things now if that’s what you want.
Think about this the next time you have a long day and you call them up. How do you feel when you hear their voice? Is it soothing, calming, and supportive to talk to them, or do you really just want the call to end so you can go relax?
If you two seek out “fun” away from one another (i. e. they play games for fun, and you watch sports for fun, but you don’t do those things together), try changing that up. See what happens when you engage in one another’s hobbies. If it’s enjoyable, that’s a good sign.
If it ever feels like connecting with your partner is hard, the two of you often misunderstand one another, or you struggle to pick up on one another’s vibe, the relationship may not have legs.
Ask yourself why you aren’t comfortable speaking freely. Are you scared they’re going to lash out at you for sharing uncomfortable feelings? Or, are you hesitant about opening up because you’re afraid of committing? If this has more to do with you than them, talk to them about it. If the problem lays with them though, it’s a very worrying sign you aren’t meant to be.
How do you feel when your partner goes out with their friends or goes to do something without you? If you get nervous about them cheating or going behind your back to do something you don’t like, it means the foundation of your relationship is fragile.
You might not celebrate one another’s wins because you view each other like competition instead of partners.
Who schedules the dates? If you’re always making the reservation and picking the date, it’s a sign they aren’t pulling their weight. Who pays for things? If you haven’t been dating long, the two of you should still be splitting costs most of the time. Who calls who? If you always hit them up first, it’s a problem. They should be initiating things just as often as you do.
If you do want more passion, talk to your partner about it! There’s no reason you two can’t continue to try new things, explore, and keep the heat going. You just have to be a little more intentional about it. If you’re getting seriously down about the relationship turning into something calmer and quieter, it may be a sign you aren’t ready to settle down just yet. That’s okay! This is a perfectly reasonable justification to end a relationship.
If your friends and family generally think you could do (or deserve) better than the person you’re currently dating, they’re probably right. It can be hard to take an objective look at your relationship with someone when you already have romantic feelings for them. Getting another perspective may help you spot something worth considering that flew totally past your radar.
