If someone has their arms crossed or is avoiding other people, they may not be in the mood to talk to anyone. Only approach a stranger if you feel safe around them. If you feel uncomfortable or in danger, trust your instincts and avoid the person.
Smiling also sets a positive tone and helps keep the conversation light and happy.
Practice your body language in front of a mirror to see what changes you need to make.
Other people might be nervous or intimidated to talk to you too. By showing that you’re friendly, you can help the other person feel more relaxed. Respecting personal space is a two-way street, so be sure to speak up if someone makes you feel uncomfortable as well. For example, if someone goes in for a hug, you can say, “Oh no thank you, I’m not a big hugger. ”
While it might make some people uncomfortable, other people might greet you back and want to continue the conversation. If greeting people alone makes you feel nervous, ask a friend or someone you know to accompany you.
For example, you could say, “Hi, I’m John. I work at XYZ Publishing. ” Keep the social setting in mind when you greet someone. For example, if you meet someone at a parent’s event at school, you could say, “Hello, I’m Janice. I have a daughter in third grade. ” You can always reveal more information about yourself if you end up getting into a deeper discussion with the person.
For example, you could say, “So, Will, what do you do for a living?” or “Have you ever traveled out of the country, Will?” Mentioning their name a few times also helps you remember it better so you’re less likely to forget it if you bump into each other again.
For example, if you’re starting a conversation with someone waiting to cross the street, you could say, “The traffic is crazy today. Have you ever seen it get this busy?” As another example, if you’re at the grocery store, you could ask, “Have you tried this brand of pasta sauce before? It sounds good but I’ve never had it. ”
As another example, you could say, “Did you catch the new episode of Jeopardy? They had some really tough questions this time around. ” If the person doesn’t seem interested in a topic, change the subject.
For example, you could say something like, “I love those shoes! Where did you get them?” or “That shirt color really pops on you!” As another example, you could say, “You really handled that argument with a lot of grace. ” Avoid commenting on someone’s physical appearance too much since it could make some people uncomfortable.
What do you like to do for fun? What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this year? What are you looking forward to? How do you know the host of this party?
It’s okay to keep some of your personal details private. Only bring up the topics that you feel comfortable sharing.
For example, you could say, “I noticed you’re wearing a Packers jersey and I love them. Did you catch the game last weekend?” As another example, you could say, “Oh, I really like scuba diving too! What are your favorite diving spots?”
Be mindful of your facial expressions and be careful not to frown or show signs of disgust since that can turn off the other person.
For example, you could say, “I had a really good time chatting with you. Do you want to exchange numbers and talk again later?”
