According to experts, happy couples have a positive to negative interaction ratio of about 20:1. Couples who are heading toward divorce have a positive to negative interaction ratio of about 0. 8:1.
Similarly, if you aren’t attracted to your partner anymore, that’s a red flag. Physical attraction isn’t everything, but for most people, it’s a large part of a successful romantic relationship.
Keep in mind that your partner may not know that you feel this way. If you haven’t talked to your partner about your emotional needs yet, have a conversation with them.
If someone asked you right now, “So, how did you two meet?” would you be excited to tell them? Or would you recite the story without much emotion?
Maybe you don’t want to deal with the inevitable fighting that happens, or maybe you two just don’t have a good time together anymore. If you would like to work on the marriage, consider spending more time together one-on-one. Plan fun dates and break the routine so you two can get out of the house together.
Rest assured that there are ways to get the spark back in your relationship, especially if this is the only issue that you’re facing. Take a weekend away, just the two of you, and forget about all your other responsibilities for a few days.
This can be over something relatively small, like which city you want to live in, or something large, like whether or not you want to have children. The first step here is to talk to your spouse and see if you two can reach a compromise that works for both of you. If you haven’t tried that yet, start there.
Keep in mind that your children, if you have any, should be your priority as well.
It’s the same on the flip side: if you feel like your partner doesn’t respect you anymore, it can be tough to save the relationship.
Doing this can also be a sign of high stress, especially if it’s the only issue you’re experiencing. Try doing some stress-relieving activities to lower your stress levels, then see how you feel. If, however, the thought of not being with your spouse in the future makes you anxious or gives you second thoughts, it could be a sign that you can work on your marriage.
The same goes if there’s an inability to compromise or work through problems together. Having disagreements is normal for any relationship. When you two do have arguments, make sure you’re fighting fair and staying respectful of one another, even when you’re angry.
Contempt often comes with a lot of sarcasm or belittling of your spouse. If you find yourself poking fun at your partner or mocking them often, it’s a sign that the relationship isn’t healthy. The same goes for the flip side: if you think your partner is disgusted or feels contempt for you, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship.
This is typical in marriages that have had a lot of problems already. If you’ve already tried fixing your problems and nothing is working, it’s natural to feel discouraged and ready to give up. However, if both of you are ready and willing to buckle down and do the work to fix the marriage, then the relationship still has hope.
You can definitely take other people’s opinions into account, but remember that it’s you and your spouse who have the final say on whether you’re getting a divorce or not.
Remember, affairs can be both physical (like having sex and going out on dates) and emotional (like having deep talks or texting constantly). If you would like to save your marriage after infidelity, experts recommend seeing a couple’s counselor.
If you are being abused, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 for help. Along similar lines, if there is untreated addiction or substance abuse within the marriage, that’s a sign that it may be time to end things.
