Take your child’s personality into account—if they’re self-conscious about their appearance, Insta might not be the healthiest choice for their self-image, for instance. Don’t allow any apps that match users, like teen dating or “meetup” apps. [2] X Research source If you notice your child is following any accounts with explicit or inappropriate content, step in immediately.
You could say, “When people spend too much time online, it can become harder to appreciate the things that are going on around them. I don’t want that to happen to you, but I’m willing to work with you to find something that’s fair. " For instance, you might agree that your kids can use social media for an hour a day, as long as it’s not in the 30 minutes before bed. You might also agree on screen-free zones in the house, like at the dinner table. [5] X Research source
The consequences might include things like losing their phone for a week, having their activity monitored more closely, or missing out on another privilege they enjoy.
Pay attention to the comments they post and receive. These can be big clues into whether your child is using social media appropriately, how they’re feeling, and whether they’re being bullied (or bullying someone else). Periodically check their browser history, as well, so you can see the kind of websites they’re looking at. [8] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source For added peace of mind, use monitoring software to keep an eye on what they’re up to online.
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For instance, if your child asks you if they can download a new type of social media app, you might ask how they learned about it, who they know that uses it, and what kind of things they’d like to do on it. If your kid comes to you with concerns about something they saw online, reassure them that you’re glad that they were honest with you, even if you feel upset about what they said.
Try saying something like, “I noticed you posted that you were heading to the beach when you were really at home last weekend. I bet you probably wanted to share something exciting, and you were probably wishing you really were at the beach. I just don’t think being untruthful is the best way to impress people or make friends. " You could also make proactive suggestions, like, “I love your smile in that picture, it’s so genuine! I think you should share that one with your friends. "
One exercise that can help is to ask your child questions like, “What do you think might have been cropped out of this picture?” or, “Do you think that person is the same in real life as they seem online?”
Unfollowing people or pages that regularly make them feel that way Putting down their phone for a while Deactivating their social media if they need a longer break Listing things they’re grateful for in their own life Focusing on things they like about their body, like being able to swim, run, and hug Joining a new club or activity so they can make friends
Talk to family members or friends who live far away Support friends who are having a hard time Share something creative like artwork, music, or photography Get involved with their community Spread the word about a cause they believe in
Try asking a question like, “How can you be supportive and kind online so you’re making a positive impact on the world?” You might also tell them that before they post anything, they should always ask themselves, “What would my grandma think if she saw this?” Ask them to tell you if they see others posting things that are unkind, as well.
For instance, you might say, “I know you’re excited about our vacation, but remember not to post about it or share any pictures until after we’re home. It’s not safe to share that our family will be out of town for a few days. “[17] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Double-check the privacy settings on their social media accounts to make sure their personal info and posts can only be seen by friends. [18] X Research source No matter what app you use, if there’s a geo-tagging feature that shows the location that pictures were taken, turn it off. Consider making a rule that your child can only friend people on social media if they know them in real life to help protect their privacy.
When they’re old enough for the conversation, talk to them about the dangers of sexting. Let them know that in addition to their embarrassment if their messages or photos got out, if they’re under a certain age, they could actually get in legal trouble for sending explicit pictures online. [21] X Research source
Be really clear about the fact that sometimes online predators pretend to be much younger than they are as a way to make kids feel comfortable sharing information with them. Explain that’s why it’s important for your child to only talk to people they know in real life. [23] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source
For instance, you might say, “I just read a study about teens feeling insecure when they compare themselves to what they see on social media. Do you ever feel that way?”
Be honest with your child if this is hard for you. If you allow them to see you working to overcome it, they’ll learn that even if it isn’t easy, maintaining a healthy balance with social media is important, and it’s something worth doing![25] X Research source
