Your initial answer might be “everything,” and that’s okay, but see if you can dig down a little deeper. The closer you can get to identifying the true source or sources of your unhappiness, the better able you’ll be to address them. No matter how big your issues are, don’t lose hope. At the end of the day, you create your life. Whether one thing or lots of things need to be fixed, it’s all doable.
Think of it this way: being stuck in a miserable job isn’t the problem—it’s a symptom of the problem, which might be your fear of taking a risk and trying something new. Being self-aware is the only way you can really change your thinking. Take the time to look inward so you can really turn things around.
Try intentionally practicing positive thinking for 15 minutes a day, such as when you get up in the morning. While repeating confident statements in your head is great, consider also writing them down and reading them to yourself as needed throughout the day.
Do you see yourself living in a new place? Maybe taking a different job? Or working on a new project or business? Or going back to school? There’s no wrong answer here, so long as it’s your answer. The clearer you make your goals, the more realistic it will be for you to achieve them. Write down what you want to achieve, and don’t be afraid to aim high! For example, say that your primary goal is to reestablish relationships with your estranged family members within the next year. You might start by planning to connect with your sibling, with whom you used to be very close, within the next month.
For example, say your ultimate goal is to go back to school so you can complete the degree you didn’t finish. Your plan of action might include intermediary steps like figuring out your financial aid options, finding a mentor, and getting a new job that better suits your school schedule.
Let’s be honest here: dumping your longtime (but toxic) best friend is no fun. It’s really hard to do. But if they’re a negative influence on you and an obstacle to your turnaround plan, then making this difficult change is necessary.
When you’re experiencing tough times, it can feel like the people in your life already have it all figured out. But they’ve had rocky stretches too, and may still be having them now. Simply by sharing and listening to each other, you may end up helping them as much as they help you!
For example, get your day off to a positive start by changing your alarm to something that invigorates you (whether it’s The Circle of Life or The Ride of the Valkyries is up to you). “Oh no” can turn into “Let’s go” easier than you think!
Try little things like planning out your wardrobe and your menu for the week ahead and scheduling times for exercise and relaxation in your calendar.
That class you’ve signed up for? Go. Your therapist? Make an appointment. Submit job resumes. Go on dates. Attend meetings. Initiate a family lunch. Get on that treadmill. Getting started is often the hardest part—but you can do it! Keep in mind that holding yourself accountable doesn’t mean beating yourself up whenever you fall short—which you’ll surely do from time to time. Instead, it means picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and recommitting yourself to getting back on the path you’ve set for yourself.
For example, if you’re trying to break a cycle of drug abuse in your life, you may have originally believed that your goal was to get as far away from that world as possible. However, you might find that your real calling is to help others who are struggling with addiction.
Aim for 150 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic exercise per week, along with 2-3 strength training sessions. Try to get 7-9 hours of uninterrupted, high-quality sleep per night. Choose more fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats, and fewer processed foods, added sugars, and unhealthy fats.
Analyzing your spending and cutting back on unnecessary expenditures. Creating a monthly budget—and sticking to it. Starting a savings account, or increasing what you put into your savings. Asking for a raise, changing jobs, or taking on a manageable “side hustle. ” Furthering your education to improve your earning potential. Working with a professional financial advisor, or a “financial therapist” who combines financial and mental health counseling. [14] X Research source
Mental health therapists use a range of strategies based on your particular circumstances and needs. You might, for instance, use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps you to identify, challenge, and change thoughts and behaviors that act as barriers in your life. It’s important to find a therapist who you are comfortable sharing with openly and honestly. If you have a primary care physician, it may be a good idea to seek referrals for experienced therapists in your area.
