“Hey, just so you know, I’m here for you if you need anything. I’ve always got your back” “I hope you know that you are important to me and I care about you. ” “Whatever you are going through—good or bad—I’m here if you need me. ”
You could ask them about a hobby you know they’re interested in. People tend to love talking about their passions, so ask questions like, “Play any fun board games lately?” and, “Learn any cool magic tricks lately?” You can even just ask them about how they’ve been spending their time lately. Questions like, “What did you do this weekend?” or, “What have you been up to lately?” are great ways to get them talking.
“Hey, you seem like you’ve got a lot going on. How are you holding up?” “I noticed you’ve been working a lot this week. What’s going on? Is everything okay?” “I just wanted to take a second to see how you’re doing. You feeling okay?”
Think of every relationship like a seesaw, with you on one end and your friend on the other. If they’re always putting in the work, they’ll feel like you aren’t pulling your weight! Try to maintain a balance when it comes to your friendship.
If your friend is telling you about something they’re struggling with, don’t respond by talking about a problem that you’re dealing with. This can make it seem like you’re only talking to them because you want to talk about yourself. Show you are listening by maintaining eye contact and interested body posture such as leaning forward. Every once and awhile reflect or repeat back what your friend has told you to show you are listening and make sure you are hearing correctly.
If you go the humorous route, be sure to avoid including anything they may find embarrassing or insulting. Something like, “Shout out to my favorite math genius! I’d be failing geometry if it weren’t for you!” is perfectly fine, though. Include a nice photo of the two of you. It’ll serve as a sweet reminder of the times you’ve shared!
If you’re only there when things are bad, it may feel like you aren’t deeply invested in how they’re doing.
Get them something personal. Don’t just pick up a gift card for them. If you’re short on cash, you could always make them a piece of art, or write them a genuine letter explaining what their friendship means to you. You could always get them something the two of you can do together. Concert tickets, seats for the ball game, or a two-player video game are all great options.
Some people really don’t like people touching them. If that’s your friend, don’t push it.
“Your birthday is next week! Are you doing anything exciting?” “Hey, are you doing anything for your anniversary! Do you have plans already?” “Are you hosting another famous Friendsgiving this year? I know it’s coming up soon. ”
You could travel somewhere together! A weekend road trip is a fun way to experience something new together.
Cookies, cakes, and pies are all traditional winners when it comes to gifts. If they’ve got a favorite dish, make that. If you’re worried about being cheesy, just say, “I’ve been trying to cook new recipes in my spare time, and I know you love this dish. Give it a try and tell me how I did!”
Taking care of something they genuinely dislike is one of the greatest acts of kindness. Think about how happy you’d be if your friend offered to do your least favorite chore! There’s nothing wrong with simply asking, “Hey, is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?”
If you agree to do something or be somewhere, make sure you stick to your word. If your friend is relying on you to do something, make sure that you do it. Don’t just blow it off! If you make a promise, keep it.
If you don’t feel like you did anything wrong, talk to them and try to see things from your point of view. So long as they feel like you’re making an effort to meet them halfway, things should work out.
