If you know it was primarily your fault: “I’m so sorry for my behavior after you said you lost my keys. I turned an honest mistake into a big problem for no good reason. ” If you feel it was mostly his fault: “I apologize for not handling things better this afternoon. I should have stepped away for a few minutes to prevent it from getting worse. ” If the fight happened because you weren’t listening: “I’m really sorry for ignoring you when you were trying to tell me something important. I know I need to become a better listener. ” If you’re hoping for forgiveness: “I’m sorry, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I know I really messed up. ”
“You mean the world to me and it makes me sick to think about how badly I messed things up last night. ” “Yesterday was really tough, but I care about you as deeply as ever and I know we can get back on track. ” “I’m so sorry for the hurtful things I said. I love you. ”
If there was a triggering event that didn’t involve him: “I’m so sorry that I let my crappy day at work spill over into an argument with you. ” If you grew up in a home where fighting was common: “You know I hate fighting because of my family situation growing up, so I’m truly sorry that I let such a little thing spiral out of control. ” If you got too worked up trying to “fix” your relationship: “I fight so hard for our relationship because it means so much to me, but I shouldn’t let that turn into an actual fight. ” If you said something particularly hurtful or insensitive: “I can’t begin to tell you how awful I feel about calling you stupid yesterday. I’ve never been more sorry about something I said. ”
“I feel awful about my behavior. It was totally unjustified. I’d really like the chance to explain why I got so upset. Can I call you?” “I’m so sorry I blew up at you like that last night. I’ve had some family stuff happening that I should have talked to you about earlier. Can I come over and explain what’s going on?”
“I’d really like to make my apology in person…at that steakhouse you love. Can you meet me there if I make a reservation for 7?” “I’m really sorry. How sorry? I’ll do the dishes for the next week—and you know how much I hate doing the dishes!” [Send a pic of his car all washed and shiny with you holding a sign that reads “I’m sorry!”]
“I’m so sorry I didn’t walk away to calm myself when I got upset at you. I know I should have, and I promise I will next time. ” “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. Nothing good happens when I drink too much. I’m absolutely going to cut back on alcohol. ” “I can’t believe I shoved you during our argument. I’m so sorry. I know I need to get my anger under control so I’ve signed up for an anger management class. ”
“I’m ready to talk about this whenever you are, but if you need some space for a couple days, that’s okay too. ” “Is there something I can do right now to help you? I feel terrible about how we ended things today. ” “I know you’re still upset, and you have every right to be. Please tell me what I can do. ”
“Well that was a doozy! I think that’s the most worked up either of us has been since the ‘Bachelor’ finale (which I’m still not over!)” “Yikes. I feel like we were in one of those insurance commercials about people becoming like their parents. It was like ‘Hey, let’s bicker for half an hour about something we don’t even remember. ’” “What was more red last night—my shirt or my face? You probably thought I was going to pop like a balloon. ”
“I can’t believe we got into a fight over a pair of pants! Can we forget about that and work on sharing our feelings more openly?” “Is it okay if we pretend that fight never happened? That’s not something we ever need to repeat. ” “We’ve never fought like that before, and I don’t ever want to fight like that again. Would you consider attending couples’ therapy with me?”
“I’m sorry I got upset with you. If you want to talk about what happened, I’m ready to listen to whatever you have to say. ” “That was no fun, and I apologize for my role in it. I’ve calmed down and I’m ready to really listen whenever you’re ready to talk. ” “So sorry that happened. Let’s talk, please, when you’re ready. I really want us to find a way through this. ”
“Let’s not fight anymore about where to go on vacation. How about we go somewhere completely new for both of us—like maybe a camping trip?” “Instead of arguing about whether you should move in with me or I should move in with you, how about we look for a new place together?” “I know you really don’t want to go to prom, and that I really do. Could we maybe go but agree to stay for like 2 hours?”
“Can you meet me at the coffee shop to talk? I really want to apologize for my behavior the right way. ” “Our fight started over text, so I’d really like to resolve it in person. Please come meet me after class. ” “Can I give you a call to talk things over? Texting just doesn’t feel like the right way to do this. ”
If you’re still angry about the fight, try calming techniques like doing deep breathing exercises, going for a walk, visualizing a happy place, or listening to soothing music.
There’s no perfect text length here you should try to hit. Instead, just read through your text before hitting “send” to be sure you’re making your point without rambling on. It might help to sprinkle in a few emojis like 😢, 🙏, or 😘, but don’t rely on them or clipped words and phrases to make your message shorter.
Calling him. Messaging him on social media. Sending an email, in which case you can go into a bit more detail (but still without getting too wordy). Asking a mutual friend to get in touch with him. Going old-school and writing him a note or letter.
