You’ve exchanged messages at least once in the last few days so the door’s still open. You’re willing to take the initiative and try out a new conversation starter. They’re ghosting but haven’t directly turned you down yet.
Starting off with an interesting opening line might be enough to get things moving again. Try leaving it at that and see if they respond before you say more. For instance, you could start with something like, “Oh man, work was crazy today. The expresso machine literally blew up!” or, “You’re never gonna guess who walked into my office this morning. ”
To show you’ve been paying attention, try asking about something they mentioned earlier in the conversation. For instance, “Hey, how was that movie you were watching the other day?” or “What happened with that job interview?” If they answer, keep the conversation going with follow-up questions. For example, “Awesome, I’ve been meaning to check that movie out. How do you think it compares to the original version from the ‘70s?” You can ask questions about a wide variety of topics, like their interests and hobbies, their background, or their sense of humor. Or, try some deeper conversation starters, like “What’s a skill you’ve always wanted to learn?” or “What’s your favorite place in the world, and why?”[4] X Research source
For instance, try something like, “It’s so cool that you’re into photography, too! How long have you been doing that?” You might be able to get a good sense of things you have in common by looking at their profile or reading back over your previous conversation. You can also try asking questions to get a better idea of what they’re into, like “What TV shows are you watching lately?” or, “Who are your favorite authors?”
You could say something like, “You know what? You’re pretty cute. ” Or, “You’re so funny! Talking to you is a blast. ”
There’s even science to back this one up—studies show that having a pet is one of the best ways to bond with other people and make new friends![8] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School’s Educational Site for the Public Go to source For instance, share a picture of your cat curled up on your keyboard and say something like, “Look who’s helping me get work done this morning. ” If they have a pet, bring it up. Say something like, “I can’t stop thinking about that rabbit in your profile pic, it looks too cute and fluffy to be real. ”
For example, if you’re talking to a Supernatural fan, you can’t go wrong with Dean Winchester doing a flirty wink!
For example, you might send a picture of the delicious meal you just cooked or an interesting landscape you discovered while out walking. You can also say things like, “Your cat sounds adorbs, I’d love to see a pic!” Don’t send (or ask for) nudes or pictures of your junk unless they’ve told you they’re interested. That’s a good way to make things turn awkward, fast—or scare someone off completely.
Unless your hopefully future bae has already made it really clear that they’re interested in getting naughty, keep your flirting PG-13 at first. For instance, you might say something like, “Wow, you’re cute, smart, and you love shawarma? Where have you been all my life? ;)”
For instance, you can try something like, “I wish you were here with me right now,” or “That photo you sent me yesterday was so hot. ” If they respond in a flirty or sexy way, keep it going!
You can either just jump in or follow up on something you already talked about. [15] X Research source For example, “You know that Netflix series you recommended? Well, I checked it out, and it was incredible!” If you haven’t heard from them in a couple of days, don’t assume they’ve lost interest—it could just mean they’ve been busy. If they’re quick to answer your message, that’s a good sign that they want to keep things going.
Keep it light and casual. Say something like, “You seem really cool. Would you be up for hanging out in person this weekend?” or “I’d love to chat with you face to face! Do you have any free time in the next few days?” Some people are just more comfortable talking in person, so don’t assume they aren’t interested just because they’re not super chatty over text.
Forming romantic connections is always complicated, but with time and practice, you’ll get more comfortable with it. If they start to go longer and longer without answering your texts, or if their answers are brief and unfriendly, these might be signs that they’re not into it. [17] X Expert Source Joshua PompeyRelationship Expert Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.
