A brightly colored pair of socks might be a hint that they have a great sense of humor, or a nice watch might let you know that they care about being punctual. Someone who wears bright or bold clothing might be more comfortable with attention, while someone who opts for subdued styles in neutral tones might prefer to stay out of the limelight. A person who wears edgy styles might be resistant to authority. Someone wearing classic, timeless styles might value tradition and predictability. Look for items that signal their beliefs, too, like a bracelet with a religious symbol or a T-shirt from a brand that promotes wildlife conservation.
Raising their eyebrows if they’re happy to see you[3] X Research source Crinkling their eyes if their smile is genuine Squinting their eyes if they disagree or they’re confused Pursing their lips could mean anger, bitterness, or contempt Clenching their jaw could be a sign of tension or anger Showing their true expression for only a fraction of a second (known as a microexpression)
Pay attention to what else you can tell from the person’s eyes. Do they seem warm and inviting or cold and hard? Are they genuinely interested in what you’re saying? Do they look frustrated?[5] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
Also, pay attention to their hands—if their fingers are far apart, they probably feel confident. If their hand is closed, they might be feeling less secure. Remember, this is just one possible clue to a person’s overall demeanor and personality, On its own, it might not mean much, but when you put it with other mannerisms, you might be able to read deeper into the person.
Other nervous movements might include touching their neck, rubbing their hands together, or rubbing their chest. [9] X Research source
Watch how they are with others—do they frequently hug other people or pat them on the shoulder? If so, it could just be how they are with everyone. Other signs the person finds you attractive include leaning their body toward you or subconsciously mirroring your movements.
Ask these questions in a warm, conversational way. The more comfortable you can make the person, the more authentic they’ll be. [12] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Note their tone of voice, how loudly they speak, their facial expressions, and their body language while they answer these basic questions. [13] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
You might notice that they seem tense if you ask about their family, for instance. This is a good clue that their relationship is difficult. They might seem flushed or stammer when they talk about their job. This could be a sign that they feel insecure about what they do for a living. If they suddenly get louder while they’re talking, you might have touched on something that makes them feel passionate or angry.
Touching their face or hair Sweating a lot Clearing their throat or taking a drink Avoiding eye contact or staring Speaking in a higher-pitched voice than normal Using a lot of filler words like “um” or “ah” Going pale in the face Darting their eyes back and forth[16] X Research source Blinking rapidly
If you leave the conversation feeling like they weren’t interested in getting to know you, they might have a narcissistic personality. However, some people get nervous and talk a lot when they’re first meeting someone, so remember that this is just one piece of the overall puzzle.
This might make the person seem arrogant, but it can actually be a sign that deep down they struggle with some insecurities.
For instance, if you’re on a date and someone has a lot of negative things to say about their ex, it could be a sign they aren’t accepting responsibility for their part in what went wrong.
A person’s culture might also impact how close to you they stand, how they shake hands, and even how quickly they respond after you ask them a question.
For example, if your intuition tells you that someone is sad, you might be subconsciously picking up on hints that you don’t notice right away. Later, you might realize the person kept their eyes down and spoke in a low tone for most of the conversation. Intuition isn’t always perfect, but with time and experience, you can learn to hone your instincts about people.
