His name calling is about his own emotional immaturity and doesn’t have anything to do with you or anything you’ve done. Name calling is a form of manipulation. It loses its power if you refuse to take the bait and stay unbothered (on the outside).

“Hey, I want to talk to you about something you said earlier that hurt me. You called me a loser, and I have a real problem with that. ” “Do you have a minute to talk? There’s something that’s bothering me. I feel like I’m not doing anything to justify you calling me names, and I want it to stop. ” “I want to be open with you about something that bothers me in our relationship. I feel horrible when I get called names, and it makes it hard to take our conversations seriously. ”

Too much eye contact can read as aggressive. Shoot for looking in his eyes no more than about 70% of the conversation. Lean toward him slightly while you talk without getting in his personal space, and avoid “hand talking” or big gestures. It might be helpful to practice your body language in a mirror beforehand. Aim for a normal, conversational tone. You don’t want to be noticeably softer or louder than usual.

“I feel humiliated when I get called those names. ” “I don’t respond well to name calling. There are better ways to communicate problems with me. ” “I don’t like being called that word. ”

“Stop calling me names. ” “That’s childish. ” “Do not use that word with me again. ”

“Excuse me, what do you mean when you call me that?” “Can you tell me why you felt the need to call me that?” “I don’t understand why you’re calling me that. Can you tell me?”

“Quit it with the name calling or we’re done with this conversation. ” “If you can’t stop calling me names, I’m going to leave the room. ” “Find a nicer way to talk to me or I’m sleeping on the couch tonight. ”

If you say you’re going to leave the room if he calls you a name, you should actually leave if he does it. If you say you’re done talking to him until he finds nicer words, ignore him until he changes his language. Start with small, manageable boundaries as you get more comfortable with standing up to him. Your relationship might not change right away, but you will feel confident after each small victory.

“Thank you for communicating with me more respectfully. I really appreciate it. ” “I’ve noticed all the effort you’re putting in for me. Thank you. ” “I feel closer to you now that we’re talking to each other nicely. ”

It’s ultimately up to you to decide if his behavior is a problem for you or your relationship. However, support and opinions from friends and family can help you make decisions and affirm your choices to make change.

Try an activity or a hobby that you love and excel at to clear your mind from the name calling and give yourself a quick self-esteem boost. Cut out the word “should” when you think or speak about your feelings and actions. Instead, use “could” to open up more possibilities. For example, instead of “I should go back to the couch with him,” think “I could go back to the couch with him…but maybe it’s best if I take some time for myself. ”

Your boyfriend continues to name call or verbally abuse after you’ve asked him to stop. Your communication breaks down or your arguing leads to a lack of physical or emotional intimacy. The name calling leads to physical abuse or threats of violence. [15] X Trustworthy Source University of Rochester Medical Center Leading academic medical center in the U. S. focused on clinical care and research Go to source

This is a dramatic step to take, but it may be the only way to show you’re serious about his name calling behavior. If you set a boundary and say you’ll leave him if he doesn’t change, stick to it. It’ll be hard, but he will feel like he’s won or that you’ll never actually leave him if you don’t follow through. Think carefully before deciding on this ultimatum.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or visit https://www. thehotline. org/ for help, treatment options, and safety planning. Abuse of any kind is never acceptable and you don’t deserve it. [20] X Expert Source Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MAMatchmaker, The LA Life Coach Expert Interview. 18 March 2020. Identifying the problem and getting help will let you live free of bullying, self-doubt, and name calling.