“I’m feeling sad, and that’s okay. ” “I’m allowed to feel angry about this. Everyone feels upset at some point. ” “I feel really crushed and heartbroken, and those emotions are valid. ”
Punching your pillow a few times Sketching out your feelings on a blank sheet of paper Writing your feelings down and ripping them up Talking to a trusted friend or relative about how you’re feeling
Playing with modeling clay Trying a few yoga poses Taking a break from electronics Going for a walk outside
Expecting to get a college-level job as a high school student Expecting to make the varsity team when you’re not as experienced as the other players who tried out Expecting a guy to ask you out when you’ve never talked to him While there’s nothing wrong with dreaming big, it’s important to know what your expectations are before entering any situation.
You want to be a coder, but you’re struggling to pass your computer programming classes even with plenty of studying and tutoring. You want to be a pro wrestler but you’re just not able to bulk up, even when you follow a consistent diet and workout regimen. You want to be at the top of your class even though you feel overwhelmed with challenging courses and assignments. Limiting your expectations can help prevent you from feeling constantly disappointed.
“Yale was my number one college choice, and I worked so hard on my application. Was it unrealistic to think that I’d make it in?” “Megan said she’d call me last week, but she never did. I tried texting her a couple of times, but she still didn’t respond. Is it worth waiting for her, or is she just blowing me off?”
For example, if you’re a chemistry student who’s struggling to get Cs and Ds in your chemistry classes, you might be better off switching majors. It could be worth switching mediums if you’re an artist who can’t seem to master a specific art form.
Specific: I’m going to write 1 page of my novel each day. Measurable: I’m going to practice for 30 minutes every day so I’m more prepared for basketball tryouts. Attainable: I’m going to learn 50 new vocab words by the end of the semester. Realistic: I’m going to have a conversation with Kelly by the end of the month. Trackable: I’m going to mark down my exercise and calorie intake in an app so I can keep track of the progress that I’m making.
You might tell your Mom, “I’ve decided to start learning Korean. I’m studying a little bit each day, and I’m hoping to take the TOPIK test next summer. ” You might tell your friend, “I’m hoping to run a 5K next spring, so I’ve decided to start running 3 times a week. ”
Pinpointing negative thoughts: Pay attention to common patterns that your negative thoughts follow. A lot of people tend to filter out the positive things that happen to them or assume that the worst is going to happen. Rewriting negative thoughts: Narrow in on your negative thoughts and look for ways to reframe them in a positive way. Instead of thinking “I’ll never reach this goal,” think “This may not be in my wheelhouse, but I’m up for the challenge. ”
For example, if your goal is to lose 1 lb (0. 45 kg) per week, check your past calorie and exercise logs to see where you’re ending up.
Adjust your daily fitness goal from 1 hour to 30 minutes Give yourself 1 month to learn a new dance instead of giving yourself 2 weeks Practice soccer 3 times a week instead of 5
Unwind after a long day with a hot bath Whip up a healthy meal Get to bed at a decent time
