When a guy is emotionally unavailable, it means he has difficulty maintaining emotional bonds in his relationships. Emotionally unavailable guys tend to come off as distant and may seem like they’re not invested in the relationship. Therefore, if he opens up to you, he’s likely fighting a lot of instincts telling him that vulnerability is risky or scary. Tell him that you appreciate his efforts and let him make progress in his own time, without pushing for more.
Help him feel more at ease by reassuring him and reciprocating when he tells you more about his past. Appreciation and a steady give-and-take will make him more comfortable with the relationship. [3] X Research source
Build his trust in you so he’ll rely more on your input. Be a faithful partner, follow through on your promises, always be honest, and trust him in return.
We all have emotions and deserve to express them without fear of judgment or rejection. Be gentle and patient so that he feels safe around you, and you’ll notice him show more emotion over time. He might not initially be consistent with his emotions, which is okay. It’ll take time for him to get used to being expressive, and he might stumble a few times before doing it regularly.
Think back on recent conversations. Were there any details you were surprised he remembered? He might ask you how a specific work project is going or mention your favorite book series. It’s likely a sign of his love. Does he bring you a cup of tea exactly as you like or take you to your favorite restaurant on date night? He’s remembering everything he has learned about you and using them to impress you. To build your bond, leave him little things to remember you by. “Forget” a sweater at his place or get him a small, inexpensive gift such as a shirt you think he might like. Reassure him that he’s not obligated to do the same!
Don’t try and force commitment by playing mind games with him. Just live your life and give him the space to reach out; by giving him free reign, you can get him to chase you.
Reassure him with physical touch. Let him stand close, brush your arms together, or put a hand on his shoulder to make him more comfortable. When an emotionally unavailable man falls in love, he’ll realize how much he loves being around you. It might not fit your typical definition of “lovey-dovey,” but let him take it slow and show affection in his own way.
For example, he might say, “We should check out that drive-in theater soon. They’re showing some cool movies this month,” or “Can we try the Thai place down the street?” He might still alternate between “we” and “I” at first, but give him time. He’s adjusting to the change as much as you are! Be patient; if he’s serious, “we” will become a permanent part of his vocabulary.
Does he walk you to the door after a date or offer you a ride home? Does he leap to your defense in social situations (or physically) if need be? These are signs that he has fallen in love. Let him know that you recognize and appreciate his efforts. If he gets overbearing, however, you can also set boundaries to make sure his protectiveness doesn’t stifle you.
To get him started, you might have to be the instigator! Ask him to attend a casual group hang or work event with you, and reassure him that there’s no pressure to go either way. Once you get the ball rolling, he’ll follow suit. He might not go all out right away, but little by little, he’ll invite you to work parties, casual gatherings with friends, and even bigger events like birthdays and weddings.
Be patient and let him ask you to meet his family in his own time. This might be his first time doing so since a bad breakup (or at all), and he needs
Look to see if he’s been spending more time talking and getting to know you lately. If thoughtful conversations are now more frequent than physical intimacy, he’s likely falling in love. Even if he’s more interested in sex, you don’t have to be. Give him some space and live your life, giving him a chance to miss you. He might just give you more attention when you set those boundaries. Once he’s more focused on building your emotional connection, go ahead and do the same. Ask him to hang out, let him get to know you better, and get to know him in return—but avoid labeling the relationship before he’s ready.
It’s essential that you don’t force him to change. Express your needs if something is bothering you but don’t make demands or issue ultimatums. Help him understand what you want and let him decide to change on his own.
Be careful not to rush him. It’s easy to get eager, but don’t push him to do something he’s not ready for. Let him set the pace as you navigate a long-term relationship together.
