Some places are gray areas, like a coffee shop or the grocery store. A good rule of thumb is to look at her body language: if her gaze is down, her arms crossed, or she has headphones on, she probably doesn’t want to talk to anyone. Always approach women in a public place, not somewhere secluded. A crowded coffee shop is fine, but an abandoned stairwell isn’t. That said, you shouldn’t limit your opportunities. Give yourself permission to be open every day of your life and you’ll end up meeting lots of interesting people.
The key here is to hold her gaze instead of glancing away quickly. If she catches you looking at her and you immediately look away, it can feel like you were being creepy instead of trying to flirt. However, you don’t want to hold her gaze for too long—staring or gawking might make her uncomfortable. Stick to a couple of seconds of eye contact to find the perfect balance. Give the girl space so she doesn’t feel trapped by you.
The worst that could happen is that she’s not interested, and that’s okay! It’s better to try it out than regret talking to a girl you’re interested in.
Another thing to keep in mind is the surrounding area, too. You never want to “trap” a girl when you’re talking to her—for instance, don’t back her into a corner or up against a wall. You want her to feel like she can leave at any time if she wants to.
“That coffee looks delicious. What are you drinking?” “Hi, I’m David. What’s your name?” “I noticed you from across the room, and I just had to come and say hello. What brings you to the area?”
On the flip side, if she’s not enjoying the conversation, she might cross her arms, look down, or give you short, one-word answers.
“Your smile is so beautiful! It lights up your whole face. ” “I love your outfit! You have a great sense of style. ” “You are so funny. You’ve made me laugh more in the past 5 minutes than I have in the last month. ”
“How long have you been in the area?” “What do you do for work?” “Do you come to this place often?”
You could say something like, “It was really nice talking to you, but I’ve gotta get going. ”
A good way to do this is to touch her on the hand while you’re laughing at a joke she told. Lightly pat her hand while saying something like, “You’re so funny!” If she pulls away or flinches at your touch, don’t push it. Many people don’t like being touched, especially by people they don’t know well.
“You seem like a really cool person. Would you want to grab some coffee this weekend with me?” “I really enjoyed talking to you. I’d love to see you again, if you’re up for it. ”
“Here, I’ll give you my number in case you want to text me. ” “If you want, I could give you my number? Then you can hit me up when you want to hang out. ”
“I really liked talking to you the other day. I’d love to meet up and take you out on a proper date. ” “You made me laugh so hard when we chatted yesterday. I’m glad you texted me. ”
