If you are able to cut your ex out of your life, try implementing the no-contact rule. Block him everywhere (including social media) and don’t reach out to let him know he’s out of your life for good.
This is a great idea for communication if you are co-parenting with a narcissist.
Narcissists want you to get riled up, so they’ll often say very inflammatory things just to upset you. Try not to take it personally, and remind yourself that he’s not your husband anymore.
You can calmly but firmly ignore his advances by saying something like, “That’s very nice of you. Thank you. ” Then, move on.
If he tries to bring up other things, say something like, “That’s not what we’re here to talk about. I’d like to get back to the original issue. ”
For instance, instead of saying, “I hate when you talk to me like that,” try, “Please don’t speak to me in that tone of voice. ” Instead of saying, “You’re acting like a child,” try, “Let’s both try to talk this through like mature adults. ”
For instance, if he starts yelling, you could say, “I’m not going to listen to you if you raise your voice at me. Please lower your voice. ” If he insults you, you might say, “I won’t have a conversation with you if you’re going to be nasty. I want to be civil with you, so please treat me with respect. ”
Try something like, “I really don’t want to talk about what happened in the past. Could we just move on?” Or, “I’d rather not dive into that right now. Let’s talk about what we came here to talk about. ”
Use phrases like, “Maybe,” “We’ll see,” or, “I’m not sure,” to stay natural without riling him up.
Apologizing to him can lead to you softening your boundaries or doing things you don’t actually want to do. Your ex might try to make you feel powerless. The best thing you can do is remind yourself that you do have the power, and he’s not in control of you. [12] X Expert Source Adam Dorsay, PsyDLicensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker Expert Interview. 11 April 2019
When you’re having a tough interaction with him, keep thinking about how you get to leave and go home without him. If you can keep that in the forefront of your mind, it might just give you the strength to push through.
Keep up with friends and enjoy new hobbies to distract yourself from your ex.
Therapy sometimes has a negative stigma attached to it, but it’s one of the most helpful tools you can use to better your mental health. [16] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 6 September 2018.
