You can say, “Listen, we need to talk” or “I need to talk to you about some important things. ” If you’re in an abusive situation, make plans to get to safety immediately. [3] X Expert Source Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCCMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
If it helps, make a list of possible questions and your responses. Anticipate questions like, “Why?” and “What did I do wrong?” You might respond, “I need to do this for me” or “It’s not all your fault, this just isn’t working. ”
For instance, instead of saying, “You don’t make time for me and I don’t like how little you do around the house,” you could say, “I don’t feel like my needs are being met. ” You might say, “I just don’t feel the same way I once felt and I need to do this for me. ” If they have their own concerns, listen to them. [7] X Expert Source Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCCMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 7 August 2019. But keep your own reasons focused on yourself.
Instead of saying something like, “Unless things just suddenly changed, I don’t think we can be together,” try something direct like, “I want us to move on” or “I’m sorry, but it’s over and I need you to accept that. ”
You could say, “If you can please respect our privacy while we work on figuring out the next steps, we’d greatly appreciate it. ”
Try saying something like, “Mommy and daddy won’t be together anymore, but we both still love you and it’s not your fault. ”
You can hire a moving company or reach out to some friends to help move heavy furniture.
For instance, you could say, “If you need to get in touch with me, you can shoot me a text and I’ll get back to you when I can. Please don’t blow up my phone or I’ll have to block you. ” You could also say, “If you need me, send me an email, please. ”
You might say, “I get that this hurts, I feel it, too. But this is for the best and I’m not changing my mind. ” You could also try, “I understand your pain, but please don’t make it harder than it has to be. ”
It’s important that you look elsewhere for emotional support instead of your ex. [15] X Expert Source Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCCMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
For example, get into a new fitness regimen or start taking classes at your local gym to get some healthy exercise. Read a good book or try out a new creative outlet like writing or playing music.
If you do find yourself dwelling on past mistakes, remind yourself that your previous relationship doesn’t define you.
