Your boss snaps at you because he’s feeling pressure from his own superior, or your partner picks an argument after sitting in traffic for an hour. They’re taking their bad mood out on you, but these situations aren’t really your fault. Have a mantra you can repeat to help you disengage, like “It’s not my fault,” or, “Perspective. "

If your partner says something like, “I’m feeling so overwhelmed by everything I have to do today,” you might smile and say, “I’m free, and I’d be happy to help you take care of things. What can I do?” That said, it’s okay to speak a little more sternly if the person speaks to you in a way that you don’t find acceptable.

Say something like, “It seems like you had a tough day. Do you want to talk about it?” If their bad mood has been persisting for a while, say something like, “I’m worried about you. Are you okay?” If you’d like to help the person calm down, ask something like “Hey, how did you feel about that situation?” Encourage them to be curious about what they’re thinking and feeling, so they can be more in tune with themselves. [5] X Expert Source Arda Ozdemir, MACareer & Life Coach Expert Interview. 14 March 2019.

Stay really present with what they’re saying—don’t interrupt or start planning what you want to say next. Ask questions to encourage them to share more, like, “How long have you felt like that?” or “What happened next?”

Say something like, “I can see how that would be really frustrating. " Or, you might say, “I had no idea you had that much going on. No wonder you feel overwhelmed. "

It might seem simple, but even asking “Is there anything I can do to help you right now?” could be all it takes to help someone feel better. [11] X Research source You could also try, “Do you want someone to talk to, or would you rather I just sit here with you?”

If a friend is having trouble with an overbearing boss, it’s a lot more meaningful if you just listen than if you rush to tell them they should quit their job. Later in the conversation, if they seem open to it you might say something like, “I’m here if you want to brainstorm some ideas of how to handle this. "

Invite them to go on a bike ride, have lunch at their favorite restaurant, or to watch a movie with you.

If you start feeling irritable, tell yourself something like, “I’m frustrated because Ben is really difficult to be around right now. It’s okay that I feel that way, but I can reset. " Sometimes distance is the best way to keep someone else from affecting your mood. If you need to, leave the room until they’ve had a chance to cool off. You may also want to develop an activity to help you release any negativity, such as going for a long walk in nature or taking a yoga class.

It doesn’t matter if it’s your parent, partner, boss, or anyone else. If someone is crossing a line, you have the right to speak up for yourself or leave. [17] X Trustworthy Source Mind U. K. -based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems. Go to source You could say, “I care about you and don’t like that you’re in a bad mood. I want to help, but I’ll have to leave if you speak to me that way. " You might also say, “Sometimes when you’re upset, I have a tendency to make it my top priority, but I can’t always drop everything when you call. “[18] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source

Positivity can be just as contagious as negativity, so turning to your most upbeat friends could help you feel happier after encountering someone who was in a bad mood.

You might tell your partner, “I see that you are really upset about something, and I’m sorry for that. However, I need to walk away for a minute. " Keep in mind that you can choose your level of involvement and sometimes it is best to just ignore the person. If the person continues to treat you badly due to their low moods, it may be best to limit your contact with them. This can be hard if it’s someone you live with, but just keep a low profile until they’re feeling better or you can leave.

You might even offer to make the appointment for them or go with them to their first appointment.