Give your ex a heads up if you don’t want to blindside them. You might say, “I think the best way for both of us to get the space we need is to stop communicating for a while. I would love to reconnect once we’ve both calmed down and processed our emotions, through. ” If your ex reaches out during the “no contact” period, it’s best to acknowledge them. If you ignore them, they may feel rejected or ashamed, which will make them avoid you in the future. [2] X Research source

You can always set your social media profiles to private or even block your ex, but these strategies may backfire with a fearful avoidant. Blatantly snubbing your ex could make them feel rejected.

Start a new exercise routine Pursue your hobbies and interests Eat a healthy and nutritious diet Journal regularly to process your emotions Use positive affirmations every day Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night[5] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 14 April 2021.

“Hey! I just wanted to reach out and see how you’re doing these days. Lmk. . . " “Drove by your favorite taco truck today and thought of you. Hope you’re well!”

”Remember that night we picnicked on the beach? We brought my telescope and looked at the stars. That’s one of my favorite memories. ” ”I heard our song the other day. It immediately took me back to that night when we put it on repeat and danced for hours. Love that memory. ”

“I knew you’d ace that test, Erika! You’ve always been brilliant. " “You play the piano beautifully. I’m so impressed by your talent. "

Speak to them in a soothing tone of voice. Point out the silver lining when something bad happens. Support their feelings, but try to share a more positive perspective. [11] X Expert Source Liana Georgoulis, PsyDLicensed Psychologist Expert Interview. 14 April 2021.

Hang out with your family and friends regularly Make time for your hobbies and interests Focus your energy on school or your job

For example, if you mention getting back together and they immediately shut down, back off for now. They aren’t ready yet. [14] X Research source

Your ex developed fearful avoidant tendencies because something unpleasant happened in their childhood that made them this way. If you’ve never talked about that together, consider bringing it up now so it’s out there on the table. If they aren’t ready to talk, that’s okay.

Do you have specific needs that I wasn’t meeting the first time around? What aspects of our relationship made you uncomfortable or unhappy? What behaviors can I work on to make you more comfortable in the future?

Couples therapy can help you understand each other better and work through attachment style differences. [19] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source