Identify your emotions as they come. If you’re having trouble with this, try journaling. With negative or overwhelming emotions, take note of where you feel them in your body. Consider what thought brought the feeling on. Don’t shut the emotion out. Instead, observe it as it comes and goes. All feelings are temporary, but they can be meaningful, too. By noticing your feelings without judgment, your can process and move past big emotions.
Brainstorm activities that leave positive, lingering feelings. This could be a long run, a pedicure, or a trip to the park. Buy yourself a treat that sparks joy. This could be anything from a chocolate bar to a bouquet of flowers. Spend an afternoon on a health or beauty routine that leaves you glowing. Take a long, hot bath, eat a hearty salad, or put on a face mask.
Try strenuous workouts, like swimming or rowing. Throw yourself into an exciting hobby, like painting or a new language. Strengthen relationships with family, like your grandparents or cousins.
Try incorporating positive affirmations into your morning routine: I’m enough and I deserve love. Try challenging negative self-talk. For instance, “I’m not cool enough, they probably don’t love me,” could be challenged with, “I’m worthy of love. And I don’t know how they feel yet!” And that’s true, you may not know how they feel yet, so don’t count yourself out. And remember, their feelings don’t determine your worth.
If you’re in a relationship, try having a deep conversation, listening to music, or making sure you connect with some cuddling after you get intimate. If they’re a friend, try a casual, conversation-heavy activity, like a walk. When in love, you may feel intensely curious. Use this to ask great questions! If you don’t know them well, look for chances to ask them about themselves and explain more about you. Wait on asking them to hang out until you’ve met.
If you’re in a relationship, give them heartfelt compliments, take them on amazing dates, and support them in their passions. If this person is just a friend, try brightening their day when you can. Send them a silly text message that will definitely make them laugh.
If this person feels the way I do, what would I want to happen? Would I want our relationship to change, and if so, how? If this person does not feel the same, what would I want to happen? Would I want to stay friends? Would I want to keep dating? If this person isn’t sure yet, what then? Am I comfortable waiting until they know? If so, how long?
If you’re in a relationship, just go from the heart. The message will speak for itself. You can add in whatever feels right, or simply say, “I love you. ” If this person is a friend, let them know beforehand that nothing about your relationship needs to change and their friendship is important to you. For someone you don’t know well, make sure they’re in a place they feel comfortable. Assure them that you don’t expect anything in return, but you needed to share how you felt.
Try turning your phone off for a few hours to help limit the temptation of over-texting them. Now is the time to bring back some healthy distractions, like exercise, baking, or hanging out with a friend. Remember that this is someone you care a lot about. No matter how they may feel, giving respect is a part of loving someone. You’ll need to accept that.
A close friend may be able to help you decide whether or not you should jeopardize your job for a shot with your boss. When you don’t feel comfortable reaching out to someone who knows you personally, consider speaking with a therapist. It’s hard to control who we love, but we can control the choices we make afterward. You may stand to lose a relationship, job, or friendship over love. If that’s the case, think hard about which is most important before you act.
Decide how you want them in your life going forward. Your preferences may be different. If either of you doesn’t want to see the other, that should be 100% respected. If you’re continuing or starting a romantic relationship, now is a good time to get on the same page, because serious feelings are involved.
Spend time with people who love you. Get fulfillment from your hobbies. Enjoy investing in yourself. Learn a new skill, get a fresh haircut, or try out meditation.
