In the workplace, talk to your boss about what you’ve achieved. Ask for their thoughts on your strengths so they get a chance to think about the value you add: “I’d like to get your input on what you think my strengths are and how I can put them to use for the company. I know in the last three months, my team accomplished…”[3] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source With a partner or friend, use “I” statements to let them know how you’re feeling undervalued: “I feel hurt and a little disappointed when you don’t thank me for making dinner every night. ”
For a friend/partner: “I’m upset that we had to cancel dinner again the other night. Could you tell me a bit more about why that happened?” For a coworker/boss: “Have you gotten a chance to look at that proposal yet? I’d like to move forward with it, but I won’t be able to until it’s approved. ” As a bonus, act powerful and confident to signal you deserve respect: If you’re soft spoken, speak louder and enunciate. Stand with good posture. If you like to sit in the back of the room or the corner, sit towards the front or the center.
Avoid escalating the situation by calmly explaining the situation, the behavior, and the impact it has had on you: “I sent you a text the other day to check in. I noticed you haven’t gotten a chance to respond yet. I’m feeling pretty bummed out about that and worried about you. ”
For a coworker or boss: “I don’t want to interrupt what you’re doing. Should we reschedule?”[10] X Research source For a friend or partner: “I love you and want to spend quality time with you. How about we do a phone-free dinner?”
For the workplace: “I’d love to walk you through some of the ideas I had for the Park Blvd. project, and then after I go through what I’ve outlined, I’d appreciate your input. ” For a friend or partner: “I’ve noticed you interrupt me sometimes when I’m talking. I love your enthusiasm, but it makes me feel frustrated when I can’t finish what I’m saying. ” For a less confrontational approach, you can address a group to create new expectations: “Let’s work to be more mindful when we’re speaking and make sure we give everyone a chance to get their ideas out. ”
Stand your ground and repeat your idea with reasoning for why it’s good: “Hear me out. I really think this could work because…” Remind the person of your value and qualifications: “The last project I worked on did much better than it was expected to, and so I think we should give this a shot. ”
In the workplace, be clear about your workload or issue and suggest an alternative: “Thanks so much for this opportunity. Unfortunately, I can’t take on another project right now since I’m looking to launch our new line. Could we circle back after the launch next week?”[15] X Research source In your personal life, be honest but firm about your needs. Look to compromise if it’s possible: “I’d love to spend more time with you, but honestly, I’m so tired by the weekend. Could we set aside time every other week to hang out?”
“I don’t feel respected when you use that name for me or speak about me like that. Please stop. ”
Remain calm and don’t escalate the situation by yelling. [19] X Research source Reassure them by telling them you hear what they’re saying: “It sounds like you’d like me to…” If you can push back safely, tell them you won’t accept certain behavior: “I can’t talk to you when you yell at me. ” Leave the job or relationship if the pattern of disrespect continues. You will find other people who value you and truly respect you.
If you can’t report the negative treatment, find at least one “ally,” someone who treats you with respect and can help you advocate for yourself. [21] X Research source
Ask yourself: “What message is my apology sending? Am I sending a message of genuine intention and goodwill? Or am I diminishing my presence and my value by taking on extra responsibility?”
Ask yourself: “Does this person make me feel mostly good about myself or bad about myself?”
