Try sending an apology over e-mail that looks something like this: “I know we aren’t on great terms right now, but I want you to know that I wish you only the best things in life. I’m so sorry for the mistakes I made, and for how much I hurt you. I hope that you can one day forgive me, and until then, that you find happiness and love. ” Don’t worry if your ex doesn’t end up responding. They may need time to heal, and you should give them their space.
This is totally optional, but if you want to send them a brief note beforehand letting them know that you’re not blocking out of anger, feel free to do this. Try sending a short message saying something like, “Hey, I think it would be best for both of us if we went no-contact. I’m going to be blocking you on social media, and you should feel free to do the same. I’m sorry for how things turned out—hope things are going well. ” If your ex is harassing you about the mistakes you made in the relationship, block them immediately. Don’t let guilt trap you in an abusive dynamic—you don’t deserve harassment by an ex, no matter what you did.
If you have objects at home that belong to your ex, return them. If you’ve already gone no-contact, ship them to your ex’s house or have a mutual friend drop them off for you.
It can take some time to forgive yourself, but know that you’ll overcome your feelings of guilt eventually. None of us are perfect, and it’s a sign of strength to accept this, move on, and try to do better in the future.
We sometimes look back on our exes with rose-colored glasses (or, the opposite, and we think of them as the terrible villains of our lives). But the truth is we all have positive and negative qualities, and sometimes not working out as a couple doesn’t mean either of you is an irredeemably bad person. Just because your relationship didn’t last forever doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good experience. Relationships aren’t like rom-coms with happily ever afters—they take consistent work, are sometimes better off abandoned, but are, in the end, always worth experiencing. Don’t beat yourself up as you reflect on your relationship! Instead, be gentle and kind, as though you were talking to a close friend. [5] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.
Your friends and family are also an invaluable support system after your breakup. Open up to them about what you’re going through—many of them have probably dealt with similar feelings in the past, and can help you through this period of your life.
Healthy living isn’t just about exercise. It’s okay to feel sad after losing your relationship, but relying on crutches like alcohol or other substances can easily backfire. Taking care of your health is more important after a breakup than ever before, since you’re feeling very vulnerable emotionally and can fall into bad habits.
Nowadays, there are a ton of apps available on your smartphone to guide you through some mindfulness exercises. Even if you’re feeling skeptical, give them a try—you might be surprised by the results.
When you want to do something, go ahead and do it—being single gives you more opportunities to do the things you enjoy, not less. Being single is exciting—there are so many opportunities available to you now. Focus on the future, rather than the past.
Signs that you’re not over your ex include things like making excuses to go and see them, constantly bringing them up with your friends, or catching yourself fantasizing about getting back together. If you’re finding yourself doing these things, it’s worth keeping things casual while dating. [10] X Research source Avoid jumping into a ‘rebound’ relationship—you can end up hurting someone else. Until you feel like your thoughts aren’t dominated by your ex, don’t date anyone seriously. [11] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.
