For instance, you could write on your party list, “What brought you here?” or “I like your outfit, where did you get it?” or “How do you know the host?” On your work list, you could write, “What projects have you been working on recently?” or “What department do you work in?” or “What do you like most about working here?” Don’t feel like you have to be super clever or deep. Sometimes, simple is better—after all, a conversation starter is just a warm-up. As you get more comfortable starting conversations, you can shift away from using your memorized lines and being more spontaneous, like using the immediate situation or person as inspiration.
For example, instead of asking “Are you traveling anywhere this summer?”, try asking “What would your ideal summer vacation look like?” You can also ask follow-up questions to signal continued interest in the conversation and even mix in information about yourself. For instance, instead of only replying with “Cool!” or “I see!”, try saying, “I really want to go to Paris too! Which places would be your top priorities?”
For instance, paraphrase what they said by responding with, “Let me make sure I’m understanding this correctly. . . ” or “So it sounds like…” Label their emotions by saying, “It seems like this is really stressing you out…” or offer validation by saying “I really appreciate that you’re willing to share this with me. ”
If you’re at work, for instance, tell your coworker that they did a great job on their presentation, or that they handled a stressful situation with impressive problem-solving skills. Tell someone they have awesome taste in music, or that they’re great at making you laugh. Try to avoid over-complimenting—this can come across as insincere or exaggerated.
If you have trouble remembering names, try repeating them as often as possible. For instance, throw their name into the initial interaction a couple times—and make sure you have the pronunciation down too. Connect their name to a distinctive facial feature to make it more memorable, like “Kevin with the cool septum piercing. ”
Even if you don’t feel entirely relaxed, you can still project confidence through your vocal tone. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll feel. Other ways to improve vocal delivery and project confidence include pacing yourself (in other words, slow down so that your words are more impactful), and replacing long words with short ones. [8] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source You can rehearse beforehand to simulate the situation so that you’re prepared for the real conversation.
Some ways to get started improving body language are by having good posture and maintaining appropriate eye contact. [10] X Expert Source Nicolette Tura, MAAuthentic Living Expert Expert Interview. 28 January 2020. You can also utilize gestures like pointing and shrugging.
Along the way, you’ll also get more practice monitoring your own emotions, like how you react if somebody begins talking over you. Some other tips for speaking in groups include keeping your stories short and speaking loudly and confidently.
At work, you could ask people if they want to grab coffee, or suggest drinks after work. If you’ve moved to a new location, sign up for local painting classes at the library, or get involved in volunteer work on the weekends.
You can practice anything you want in a role play! For instance, you can practice starting or ending a conversation, jumping into a group conversation, or changing the topic. You can also make up different settings, like the workplace or a dinner party.
For instance, you might tend to get angry if someone talks over you, causing you to lash out or blurt something inappropriate. If you get better at recognizing this tendency, though, you’ll be able to handle it by calming yourself down in the moment. Alternatively, if you anticipate a situation where you might be talked over a lot, you can make the decision to stay away to prevent any chance that you’ll react badly. One idea for developing self-awareness is journaling so that you get to know yourself better. [16] X Research source
Empathy can be important in the workplace, such as when you need to understand how a coworker is feeling or how to manage a team project. One exercise to build empathy is thinking through someone’s emotional reactions. For instance, if your partner has been sad lately, question what they might be going through instead of taking their emotional state for granted. Has work been difficult? Is something personal going on?[18] X Research source You can also practice empathy during conversations. Focus as much of your attention as possible on the other person, nodding to show understanding. Repeat their words back in your own words, or ask questions to make sure you’re understanding exactly what they’re saying. [19] X Research source
For instance, if you’re nervous about an upcoming speech, don’t default to the thought, “I’m totally going to screw up. ” Instead, ask yourself, “Do I know for sure that I’m going to mess up?” Similarly, don’t get caught up in your own head during conversations. Your nerves might seem obvious, but they’re probably less visible than you think. If you do stumble a bit, it doesn’t mean others will notice it, or think badly of you even if they do.
