If you want to become friends with a person, you should do so because you enjoy similar interests (e. g. volunteering, going to the movies, reading literature, etc. ). Being platonic friends with someone has nothing to do with sexuality. Forget about stereotypes. Gay men and lesbians vary greatly in their appearances, the way they talk, and the way they behave just the same as everyone else. A person’s sexuality will not always be apparent based on their appearances or actions. Accept the fact that the ability to love or care for another is not solely related to sexuality, and that all relationships, whatever genders are involved, should be built on mutual attraction, love, respect and trust.
Try to think about the reasons why you or other people might object to being gay or lesbian and write some of these reasons down. After you have written these things down, try writing a defense of the opposite perspective. [3] X Research source What might the person who is gay or lesbian say to defend him or herself against your list? Keeping an open mind will open your world up to a lot of opportunities you might have otherwise missed out on.
Being a gay man or lesbian does not mean that they are attracted to every single person they meet that is of the same sex, just like you aren’t attracted to every single person you meet that is of the opposite sex.
Talking about sexuality is the same regardless of orientation. If you have a question you want to ask, you would probably only ask someone you are very close with and only under the right circumstances. If you are a person who struggles to accept LGBT+ people for whatever reason, and believe that it is wrong then you may feel tempted to be mean to a gay or lesbian person. You won’t accomplish anything by this, and it’s really disrespectful. [5] X Research source
As with all people, if you have a close gay or lesbian friend who is struggling in their life, be supportive. If they need someone to listen, then be there for them. There problems might have their own unique aspects that are hard to understand, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be a loving, supportive friend.
Treat them with respect because they have dealt with the challenges that life has given them, just as you and everyone else you know has. [7] X Expert Source Lauren Urban, LCSWLicensed Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 3 September 2018.
Think about how you would feel if the situation were reversed. Would you change your mind about being heterosexual if a gay or lesbian person came up to you and started talking about why heterosexuality is wrong?
If a gay person does ask you about your views, then feel free to talk about them, but do it with kindness. Don’t be defensive. For example, if they are religious reasons, talk about what you have been taught and why it makes sense to you. Don’t assume that a conversation about differences has to be a huge fight. If you do have this conversation, listen to what they have to say too.
For example, you might say something like, “I respect you and I care about you. However, I do not fully understand what it means to be gay/lesbian. I was hoping you might be willing to tell me more about it and help me to develop a better understanding of that aspect of your life. "
This means understanding and accepting that just because someone is born a woman does not mean that they should necessarily be attracted to men, or that someone born a man should be attracted to a woman. This is not the same as gender identity. Just because someone is gay or lesbian does not mean that they don’t identify with their own gender. People who identify with a gender that is not their biological gender are transgender
You don’t have to do this rudely. Just simply say, “I know you only meant that as a joke, but I find it very offensive to the LGBT+ community, and I would appreciate it if you would avoid these jokes when you are around me, please. ”
For example, many people tend to assume that a gay man will be dressed in brightly colored clothing, have perfectly styled hair, and speak in a feminine way. Although this may sometimes be the case, it isn’t always. Gay men and lesbians come in all shapes and sizes, just like straight people.
