You: “Hey! Turn around, I’m behind you at the bar!!” Them: “Where!? I don’t see you” You: “Literally right here! I’m waving at you” Them: “WHERE!?” You: “GOTCHA I’m not there yet. See you soon”
Them: “hepy what are you up to” You: “i’m drunck broo!” Them: “really?? wherle? let’s hang out!” You: “No not really. Go to bed lol”
Them: “Are you coming to Corcoran’s?” You: “I think so!” Them: “Yaay! Are u taking the rtain?” You: “I think so!” Them: “Let’s ride together!” You: “I think so!” Them: “what??” You: “I think so!” Them: “you think hwat!!?”
Them: “Hey! Send me the photo of us from last weekend!” You: “Here it is!” Them: “OMG! What is that in the background!?” You: “What are you talking about?” Them: “That shadowy thing! It looks like a ghost!!” You: “I don’t see anything…it’s just a blank wall”
Them: “Hey babe ;) wanna come over tonight?? I’m all drunk and alone 🥺” You: “This is Jan’s father. What exactly do you plan on doing with my daughter? This behavior is disgusting. ” Them: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean anything disrespectful I swear!” You: “HAH gotcha. I’ll be over in 20”
Them: “I think I’m finally gonna ask out Michelle tonight” You: “. . . ” Them: “Hello!? Is that a bad idea!?” Them: “HELLO!?”
You: “Somebody said you got a new friend” Them: “um lol sure. Who are you talking about?” You: “Does she love you better than I can?” Them: “What? I love you!!” You: “There’s a big black sky over my town” Them: “ok?? We’re in the same town and the weather is fine what is going on” You: “I know where you’re at, I bet she’s around” Them: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” Them: “wait a second…”
Subscriber alert: “Thank you for signing up for Glendale Glassblower’s Guild text alerts! Text GLASS for more info on classes in your area. ” Them: “This is so random, I didn’t sign up for this!” Subscriber alert: “We’re glad you’ve joined Lycra Lovers text message alerts! Enjoy 20% off your next purchase with code LYCRA. ” Them: “What is happening!?”
Them: “Hey, come out to Jessica’s birthday party!” You: “GILLETTE: Thank you for signing up for our rewards program. You will be the first to know about new products, giveaways & special projects. Stay tuned!” Them: “what? This is Julie right???” You: “GILLETTE: Thank you for signing up. You will be the first to know about new products, giveaways & special projects. Stay tuned!” Them: “Julie?? I don’t use gillette. Unsubscribe!” You: “GILLETTE: Thank you for signing up. You will be the first to know about new products, giveaways & special projects. Stay tuned!”
Cat Facts: “Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts! You will now receive fun daily facts about cats! Mee-wow!” Them: “Stop” Cat Facts: “Cats use their tails for balance and have nearly 30 individual bones in them! <To cancel daily Cat Facts, reply “cancel”>” Them: “cancel” Cat Facts: “Command not recognized. You have a year subscription to daily Cat Facts!”
You: “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you all day 😈” Them: “lol what?” You: “I know you feel it too, don’t be coy 😏” Them: “is this real?? Because if it is…🥳” You: “omg oops! Wrong person smh 🤦♀️ please disregard lol”
You: “Ok let’s meet at the bar in 30 mins” Them: “yaaas! Which bar?” Them: “hey, which bar are we going to?” Them: “HELLO!?”
