lgbtcenters. org has a database of community centers in the United States. If you are not fully out, attend events in neighboring towns where you are less likely to run into someone you know.
If you’re not interested in a party or hookup scene, show up on a weekday evening. The atmosphere will be more relaxed and friendly conversation will be easier. Straight bars are rarely a good place to look for same-gender dates. Only about 11% of U. S. lesbians in a relationship met their partner in a bar or restaurant, which might be related to the small and shrinking number of LGBTQ bars. [2] X Research source
Small towns may only have one or two locations where LGBT people are comfortable meeting openly. In that case, it may be easier to make your first connections with that community online or through LGBT events. Go out to places on your own sometimes instead of always going out with friends. You’re more likely to be approached by someone if you’re by yourself.
If you don’t want to risk a homophobic encounter, try something more subtle before you out yourself. Mention an LGBTQ event you attended, and see whether she reacts positively.
In the United States, look into GLAAD, Human Rights Campaign, Gay for Good, Equality Federation, and the National Organization for Women. The international organizations ILGA, Out Right Action International, and IGLYO (for youth) can direct you to country-specific resources.
Coming out to close friends who are unlikely to spread the word back to your family and coworkers. Traveling to neighboring towns where you can be open in public with a lower chance of seeing someone you know. Discreet online dating, as described below. This can be a great way to expand your comfort zone.
LGBTQ-specific: Her (lesbian, queer, bisexual and straight women and non-binary people dating and social networking site), Chemistry. com, Compatible Partners (for serious relationships only), Brenda All-purpose dating: OK Cupid, Match. com, and eHarmony all have lesbian options. Hinge seems to tailor results for LGBT people better than other “swipe” apps.
Ok Cupid has an “I don’t want to be seen by straight people” checkbox in the privacy settings. Chances are good that your straight friends won’t be browsing an LGBTQ-only dating site. Just make sure the profile doesn’t show up when you google your name.
