You might say something like this: “I’d like to do something special for you. What would make you happy right now?” Or: “I can tell you’re having a difficult time today. What can I do to help?”
Don’t interrupt her. Interrupting tells her that what you have to say is more important than what she has to say. Let her finish talking before you speak. Show you’re listening actively, not passively, by quickly summarizing what she’s said and then asking your question or adding your comment: “So what you’re saying is you want to change your major. Have you decided what you’d like to switch to?”
Show how happy you are each time you see her. Offer a big smile and a hug, kiss, or other little physical sign of affection. If you’re having a bad day and don’t feel all that enthusiastic, manage at least a grin and make a little comment about how your lousy day just got a lot better now that she’s part of it.
Talk about your hopes, dreams, and fears. Don’t be an open book right from the start, but don’t be afraid of showing her some vulnerability. Talk about your favorite songs, movies, books, and memories. These seemingly little things play a big role in forming an emotional connection.
Unless you’ve clearly agreed to a level of openness in your relationship, don’t show romantic interest in anyone else—especially any of her friends! Tell the truth, even when it’s really hard to do so. Getting caught in a lie is much worse than fessing up to something unpleasant. Be as good as your word. If you say you’re going to do something, follow through with it. Be there for her when she needs you most. Prove to her that you’re there for the long-haul. Send her a note saying how much she means to you; give her flowers; remind her of all the things she does that make her special to you.
Show trust in her when she’s not with you and she’ll be all the happier when she is with you. Have a life of your own as well. If your girl doesn’t appreciate you being a confident, independent person, you may need to reconsider the relationship.
Maybe you’re good at doing silly faces, telling jokes about stuff in the news, or making funny comments while watching a movie together. Self-deprecating humor—gently poking fun at yourself—can also work well, if that’s part of your sense of humor. Gently teasing your girl can be funny, but always be careful about crossing the line. Make sure she’s genuinely laughing with you. If she doesn’t find that kind of stuff funny, drop it.
While reminiscing with her, or just randomly while watching TV together, you might say something like this: “Remember the first time we met? I fell head over heels for you when I saw you standing there. It’s like everything else seemed to disappear, kind of like tunnel-vision. You still do that to me. "
Put your hand on hers while you’re talking, or your hand on her shoulder when she’s upset. Hold hands when you’re taking a walk together. Come up and slowly kiss the back of her neck while hugging her from behind. This soft, sensuous kiss is sure to get her excited and remind her of the sweet things you do. Nothing says “I love you” quite like a good foot massage or back massage after she’s had a long day at work or school!
Basic hygiene like bathing, using deodorant, and brushing your teeth is always in order. You want her to get close to you, and smelling good is sure to help. Accommodate her preferences without completely ignoring yours. If she prefers you clean-shaved but you love having a beard, for example, see if keeping your beard neatly trimmed and groomed will do the trick. Exercise regularly, primarily for your own health and wellbeing. But consider it an added bonus that you’ll look and feel better!
For instance, a silly disagreement over what movie to watch can sometimes blow up into a major source of friction. To prevent this, talk over your individual points of view and come to an arrangement—in this case, perhaps you can take turns picking the movie.
Pay attention to her physical cues. If she seems hesitant when you’re getting romantic, back off—even if she doesn’t say anything. She may need more time to feel comfortable. Don’t put out the wrong vibes. If she senses that you’re impatient, she may grow distant—or worse yet, do something she regrets. Remember that no always means no. Even if you’ve been together for years, it’s her body and she’s under no obligation to share it with you.
