“What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!” ”What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeño business. ” ”What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator. ”
”Knock knock. ” “Who’s there?” “Tank. ” “Tank who?” “You’re welcome. ” ”Knock knock. ” “Who’s there?” “Cow says. ” “Cow says who?” “No, cow says moo!” ”Knock knock. ” “Who’s there?” “Who. ” “Who who?” “I didn’t know you were an owl!”
”I invented a new word: plagiarism!” ”What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. ” ”What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey. ”
”Are you trying too hard to get people to like you? By having a lot of money, an attractive appearance, or wearing deodorant?” ”If you want to be seen: stand up! If you want to be heard: speak up! If you want to be appreciated: shut up!”
”I own the world’s worst thesaurus. Not only is it awful, it’s awful. ” ”What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing. ” ”If we shouldn’t eat at night, why did they put a light in the fridge?”
”I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?” ”This shirt is so colorful, you can probably see it from space. ” “I got so distracted by my phone the other day that I walked right into a pole!”
Make your friend a silly meal when they say they’re hungry, like green eggs and ham or a sandwich cut out in the shape of an animal. Place confetti on the blades of a ceiling fan so they fall into the air when the fan is turned on. Hide bubble wrap under a rug so your friend is surprised by the popping noises.
Lightly tease your friend over their habit of talking with their hands or saying a certain word a lot. You might also tease your friend about their large stuffed animal collection or a musician or TV show that’s their guilty pleasure.
Maybe you saw a bird poop on someone’s head, or a dog wearing a funny sweater. Or, maybe you have a memory of your dad starting the blender without the lid on and making a huge mess.
You could try “The Office,” “Superbad,” “Friends,” “Dumb and Dumber,” or “The Good Place. ” If you’re out of ideas, type in “comedies” or “funny” to search for movies and TV shows.
You could also head to a comedy club to see comedians in-person. Josie Long, Dave Chappelle, Mindy Kaling, Hannibal Buress, and Trevor Noah are all good comedians to choose from.
You know your friend best, so try to pick something that fits their sense of humor. Instagram and Twitter are great places to look for memes. If they aren’t into memes, a cute kitten video works too!
