When you’re out together, be considerate. Hold doors, ask her if she’s comfortable with your date’s setting, and keep your attention on her all night. [3] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020. Be respectful of her. Genuinely listen when she speaks and make sure she knows that you want her to feel safe with you. Avoid behaviors that might throw her off or give her the wrong idea about you. [4] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020. Don’t get angry with her, pester her for intimacy, or jump straight into the physical stuff right away.
Put your hand on her back to guide her to your seat at a restaurant or bar. If you’re trying to direct her attention towards something, touch her hand lightly to gain her eye contact. With her permission, you could even go for a classic. If she has a loose eyelash on her face, gently remove it for her!
If you do have a roommate, give them a heads up. This way, they can stay in their room or at least be friendly (and fully dressed!) when your date comes. A clean room means clean sheets, clothes off the floor, and a nice smell.
If she needs to stop back at hers to let her dog out, definitely make that a priority. If she wants to come over but has something early in the morning, promise to get her back in time and stick to your word.
You could also use your knowledge of the local area to make the date more exciting. Choose a bar or restaurant that you know well. Greet the dining staff you know personally, recommend the best stuff on the menu, and you could even give her the venue’s history if you know it. Another advantage is that you won’t accidentally choose a spot that’s too loud, dirty, or not super tasty.
“If you love dogs, you’ll be totally obsessed with my golden retriever, Sassy. Actually, we could head to mine and meet her now if you want. " “I never thought I’d meet someone who loves Monopoly as much as me! Should we head back to my apartment for a game after we finish these drinks?” “I have a bottle of my favorite Malbec at home. I think you’d really like it. We could swing by and have a glass, if you’re interested. "
Mention that you’re a trained pianist. Later in the evening, you can ask if she wants to hear you play her favorite song. Explain that your parents are Scottish, and you have tons of photos from a trip to the highlands. If that seems to interest her, ask if she wants to see them. Share with her that you have a green thumb. Your garden could’ve just sprouted sunflowers. Offer to go back to yours to pick her one!
Don’t rush through dinner just so you can ask her back to yours ASAP. Instead, try to think of both events (the night out and the apartment hangout) as two separate dates. Let this one end naturally before you move on. If she wants to, let the evening take place at a few different locations. This will show her you’ve got self-control and good intentions. You could’ve asked her to come over after the first location change, but you waited because you enjoy her company!
Let her know that you’re so glad she came over, but if she wants to go home at any point, you can find her a ride. Don’t crowd her on the couch or bed right away. Let her have her own space until the time comes to make a move. Take things slow. Consent is an absolute must, and you’ll be on the right track if you don’t rush things and stay communicative.
“I think you’re really beautiful. Can I kiss you?” “I really enjoy hanging out with you. Do you want to head to the bedroom?” Consent is an absolute must, and it’s important to get from her any time the two of you move forward in terms of physical intimacy. Make sure that as you proceed through the night, you’re continuing to ask for and give consent. You’ve got this!
“I don’t think I can go another day knowing you haven’t seen Dune yet. Want to come watch it at mine this Friday? 🤠🎑” “Can I cook for you at my place this Saturday? There’s a mushroom risotto recipe burning a hole in my pocket (plus, I’d really love to see you 😇). ” “You free Sunday? I was thinking about how you said you hadn’t listened to Electric Light Orchestra’s last album. I have a pretty nice speaker system—we could listen to it together if that sounds fun to you! 🥰”
Let her know that her choice is totally okay with you. Explain that you love hanging out with her and that you hope to see her out again, but that you want it to work well for both of you. For extra points, you could offer to find her a ride home or offer to drop her back at her apartment yourself!
