Requesting their permission to interrupt—“Do you mind if I jump in for a second?” Apologizing as part of your interruption—“Sorry to cut in, but I’d really like to say something here. ” Chiming in on something they’ve just said—“Hold up a second, I’d like to add something to what you just said. ”
Flattery is one of the best strategies for wresting control of a conversation. For example: “Sorry to butt in, but that really interesting story about your dog got me thinking about my old summer job as a dog walker. Let me share a story about that…”
“Thanks for chatting with me, but now it’s time for me to go do some mingling at this party. ” “I don’t mean to be rude, but I have to stop you there and get back to what I was doing. Thanks for understanding. ” “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m not really in the mood for a chat right now. Maybe another time. Thanks. ”
Right when they start talking, try saying, “Just wanted to let you know that I only have 2 minutes to chat, then I really have to get back to this work that’s on deadline. ” When approximately 2 minutes have passed, say something like, “Sorry, but I gotta get back to my work now. Have a nice afternoon. ”
For example, you might say something like this: “I’m sorry, but I really need to return a call to my insurance agent before their office closes for the day. Thanks for understanding. ” Or: “This is a bit embarrassing, but I really need to make a visit to the restroom. See you later. ” Or: “I promised my mother I’d drop by this afternoon, so I really gotta head out now. Sorry. ”
For example, your friend might swoop in and say something like this: “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I’d like to introduce Dave to my old friend from high school who’s about to leave. Maybe we’ll catch you later. ” Or: “Excuse me—Dave, can I borrow you for a minute? I really need some help figuring out this worksheet. ”
You may think that providing no feedback is the way to go—that is, by sitting or standing there stone-faced and withholding both positive and negative feedback. Unfortunately, some people view silence and a lack of physical cues as a sign that you’re deep in thought and really interested. Avoid being directly rude, such as by yawning loudly or staring at your watch.
To limit the likelihood of running into this problem on the bus, wear headphones. This is a similar strategy to dealing with verbal abuse (rather than just annoying chit-chat) from strangers. Typically it’s best to ignore them if you can also remove yourself from the situation, but respond clearly to them if you’re “stuck” with them for the time being. [11] X Research source
For example: “I realize that this is awkward to bring up, but I struggle to stay attentive and interested when you talk for really long stretches of time, especially when I have a lot of other things going on. I know I can be more open about telling you when I’m not available to listen—can we work on improving our conversation time overall?” This strategy can be useful for co-workers and family members as well. Sometimes, people do things to get attention. In that case, you can tell them that it would be more helpful if they tell you directly what they want. [13] X Expert Source Evan Parks, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 26 October 2021.
For example, eating lunch at the office a little earlier or later might help you avoid an annoying break room talker. Or, taking a slightly different route between classes at school might steer you clear of a chatty Cathy (or chatty Carl).
For example, if a stranger in the checkout line is going on and on about some topic that is completely irrelevant to you, go ahead and let your imagination transport you somewhere else.
For example, send messages like “I’m sorry, can’t chat right now” or simply ignore their posts from time to time. If the person doesn’t take your polite hints, go ahead and unfollow, mute, or block them on your various social media and communication platforms. [16] X Research source
