You might feel alarmed when your emotions shift rapidly or big feelings catch you off-guard. These reactions will fade over time so go easy on yourself—you won’t always be riding a roller coaster of emotion. [2] X Research source
Most people find that the intense emotional pain peaks within the first 6 months of separating.
If you’re feeling incredibly anxious or depressed, focus on self-care until you feel ready to make decisions. When you’re up to dealing with life choices, try to break them down into small, manageable steps so you can easily accomplish them. For instance, moving into your own place can feel like a huge deal, but it seems manageable if you schedule days for the physical move, give yourself another day to set up utilities in your name, a day to change the address for your online accounts, and a week to unpack.
Sometimes, you might find that it’s impossible to deal with your ex about the divorce or caring for your kids. If this happens, consider working with a mediator who can help you both communicate with each other.
Your friends want to help, but sometimes they may not know what you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for things. For instance, you might text a friend, “I had a really crummy day. Could you meet me for coffee sometime? I just need to see a friendly face. "
You might find that an invigorating run helps you process negative emotions while doing calming activities like yoga or meditation can help you come to terms with your feelings.
For example, maybe you always wanted to take a couples cooking class but your ex never wanted to. Now’s your chance! It doesn’t have to be a couples class, but you can enroll in any cooking class you like.
Don’t get your kids involved in conflicts with your ex. Avoid speaking badly about your ex in front of your kids and don’t use your kids as messengers to tell your ex things.
For example, maybe you see yourself as a teacher. You might decide to go back to school and finish your degree.
You don’t have to cast blame when you talk to your ex. Even saying something simple like, “I’m sorry our marriage didn’t work out,” can go a long way in helping you both get over the relationship.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to your psychiatrist or psychologist if you’re feeling depressed or having a hard time functioning. They’re there to help you through this really difficult time. It might help to talk to other people who are going through a similar experience. Do a web search for a local divorce support group to find people in your community to talk to.
