Play the long game if you have the patience. Follow someone you think looks cool, wait a few weeks, like a few photos, and then message them. Use following them as a way to gauge their interest. If they follow you back, this could be a sign that they’re interested in you. Now, reach out. If they’re on private and accept your follower request, check out their profile to get a better sense of whether or not they’re single.

To avoid coming on too strong, message them only once or twice. Double DMs can come off as a bit pushy or overeager. Send your opener, then wait for a response. If you think there’s a chance that they missed your message, send one polite follow-up. If they don’t respond to your first message or they don’t respond super quickly, don’t send more than one follow-up. Instead, be patient or move on. That said, liking pictures is the most basic Instagram function. It’s almost as if you’re expected to like someone’s pictures if you follow them. It’s definitely possible to flirt on Instagram just by leaving comments before jumping in the DM.

“Wait. How did I not know that you’re in Bed-Stuy? You must live, like, five min from me. Have you been to Peaches Hothouse yet?? 🤤” “Omg, Sam…I was at this show as well!! How good were they?? Also, looks like you were way closer to the stage than I was, lol. 🙃” “No wayyyyy. I just started a pottery class too! Literally none of my bowls have been usable yet, haha. 🙄 But this looks amazing! Where’d you do this?” Instagram is a great way to really build familiarity with the other person, since it creates a semblance of safety and people are typically more willing to open up to someone if they feel as if they share common passions, viewpoints, and other views.

Jump right in with a question: “Hey. Love your blue hair. Where’d you get it done? 💇‍♀️” Or, start right away with a flirty comment: “You’re like Margo Robbie’s twin and I am HERE for it. . . 🤩” If you’ve met them but aren’t sure they’ll remember, that’s a unique case when an intro may help: “Hey! This is Drew. I met you at the party last week. . . "

Tease them if they post about their favorite sports team: “Aw, you like the Clippers? What’s it like rooting for the second-best NBA team in LA? 😉” If they post about a success on their story, send a funny reply: “Congrats on the marathon! I ran a full ten yards to the bus today, guess we’re both all-stars ⭐️” If they post a selfie, send a compliment that can also make them laugh: “Woah. Do you kiss frogs?! Cause I’m getting Disney royalty vibes from you. 🧝🏾‍♀️”

Before you send a message, consider whether or not you’d think it was appropriate to say in person. [3] X Research source Think carefully before you send a message that might come off as disrespectful, especially if it’s sexual. If you’re unsure at all, don’t send it. Don’t offer up identifying info that isn’t on your profile. Definitely avoid giving out details like your SSN, your address, or your card numbers.

“Oof, that smile! You’ve gotta be kidding me. I can’t take it—too beautiful 🤒” If they post a selfie of them kissing their cup of coffee, send a funny, flirty response: “Oh, to be a soy latte rn. 😉” Or, send a bold, playful question: “You’re cute, I’m single, and I think it would be tragic for us not to get to know each other. What do you say? 😋”

Ask yourself if the other person will want this photo and be expecting it. If you plan to send something sexual, get consent from them first. If you’re unsure, talk to a friend you trust. The decision should be yours, and you shouldn’t feel pressured. But their opinion could offer some perspective. Avoid sending photos to people you’ve just connected with. Get to know them first. Establish a flirty rapport and mutual trust before sending a sexy photo.

“Your dog is sooooo cute. It’s killin’ me. What breed is he? 🐩” “You’re an analyst? That’s amazing. My sister has actually thought about going that route—what’s surprised you about the job so far? 😊”

As a rough rule of thumb, wait until you’ve DM’d back and forth five times or until you’ve been talking for a week. Before you two make plans to meet up in person, make sure you’ve had a video call. This way, you know that this person is who you expect them to be. [7] X Research source

“Hey, I was thinking. We’ve been messaging on here for a while, and I think you’re really cool. Would you want to hang out sometime? 🥳” “Alright, I’ve gotta say. It’s not every day I meet a total hottie who also happens to love film as much as I do. Should we meet at the theater this week? 🧐” “After talking about Bondi Beach so much, it feels right that that’s where we’d meet for the first time. What do you think? Friday work? 🌊😇”

If someone doesn’t follow up, vent to a friend, go grab a treat, and then, move on. There’s no shortage of amazing people on Instagram! You deserve to find someone great—someone who really cares about you. For the best chance at getting that, focus on staying positive.