Even if it’s been a long time (say, a friend you haven’t talked to in years), it’s never too late to reach out and try to repair your relationship. Say something like, “Hey Mark, long time no see. I was wondering if you’d be willing to chat with me one of these days? I know we haven’t talked in a little bit, but I have a few things I’d like to say to you. ” Or, “Jane, please call me whenever you can. I know I messed up, and I really want to make things right. ”
“I can tell I really hurt you by insulting your job. I was really stressed out that day, but it doesn’t excuse what I said to you. ” “I know I didn’t make enough time for you, and that’s not right. My busy schedule shouldn’t come before our relationship. ”
“I’m sorry for what I said to you in anger the other day. You didn’t deserve that, and I know it hurt your feelings. ” “I really regret not making enough time for you, and for that I’m sorry. ”
Ask follow-up questions, like, “Can you tell me more?” It will make the person you’re talking to feel like you’re really hearing what they’re saying.
Say something like, “I can see why that made you so upset. ” Or, “I understand why you’d feel that way. I’d probably feel the same. ”
For example, if you’re repairing a relationship with your partner, they might want you to be totally open and honest about everything moving forward. If you’re repairing a relationship with a friend, they might want you to make more time for them and prioritize your friendship more. Unfortunately, they might tell you that there’s nothing you can do to make it right. If that’s the case, give the other person some time to heal.
If you’re trying to make things right with your partner and you two live together, consider going to stay with a friend for a couple of days, just to give each other some space. Say something like, “I’m going to go stay with Jerry for a while to let you have the house to yourself. I really want to make this work. ”
For instance, if you told your partner they weren’t important to you, take steps to show them just how much they mean to you. [12] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. If you insulted a friend out of anger, let them know how good of a person they are and how much you value their friendship.
If you tend to blow up when you’re stressed, try reducing your workload and lowering your stress levels. If you snapped at someone because you were resentful, practice communication and expressing your feelings in healthy ways. If you accused your partner of something that isn’t true, work on your trust issues and foster a healthy relationship.
If you accused your partner of something they didn’t do (like cheating), you might have learned that you still have some leftover trust issues that you need to work on.
If you’re struggling on an individual level, either with what happened or what the outcome was, you may want to go to solo therapy as well.
