You can start the conversation by saying something like, “I’ve seen a few things that I’m pretty worried about. Could we sit down and talk?” Then, say something like, “What you’ve been doing isn’t okay, and it makes me feel like you don’t care about our relationship. ” The goal here is to get everything out in the open and tell him that you know he’s been unfaithful. If he won’t admit that to you and you know he’s cheating, then you probably can’t continue the relationship. However, if he owns up to it and apologizes, you might choose to work on your relationship and stay together.
You might feel sad, hurt, angry, or even numb—all of which are okay. You have a right to feel all of your feelings, so don’t bottle them up.
Since you’re pregnant, it’s probably easier for you to stay in your home and for him to leave. That way, you don’t have to take a bunch of stuff with you, and you can relax in the comfort of your own home. If neither of you have anyone you can stay with, consider sending your boyfriend to a hotel for a few nights.
Even if things were strained because of your pregnancy, that’s still not an excuse. Plenty of couples find healthy, loving ways to work through their issues, and it’s not your fault that your boyfriend picked the wrong way to go about things.
If you need help getting to and from doctor’s appointments, call a friend or family member for support. Consider telling your doctor about the stress you’ve been going through. They might be able to provide resources to help you out in your time of need.
When you two talk, say something like, “I just had a doctor’s appointment, and the baby is healthy. I’m still on track to give birth in about a month. I haven’t decided whether I want you in the room or not yet, so just give me some time. ” Or, “Once the baby is born, I think we should split custody 50/50. You can still come and visit, but I’d like someone else to come with you, like your mom or one of my parents. ” If you aren’t ready to talk about your relationship yet, that’s totally fine. Make it clear that you’re only here to chat with him about baby stuff, not about the relationship.
If you do break up with him, contact a lawyer to start talking about a custody agreement for when your baby is born. You might also want to think about whether or not you want your boyfriend in the delivery room with you. It’s up to you, and you don’t have to have him in there if you don’t want him to be.
Experts note that working through infidelity is very tough without the help of a professional. If you both really want to give your relationship another shot, the best way to do it is by going to counseling.
The best way to rebuild trust is to practice open, honest communication with your partner. Talk about how you’re feeling, how he’s feeling, what you’re both doing to repair the relationship, and where you see it going. Your partner will probably also need to give you a sincere apology before you can move on and start working on trusting him again.
If you want to, try adding a few stress-reducing activities into your routine, like meditation or yoga.
If you don’t want to continue your relationship with your boyfriend (which is totally valid), your friends and family will be super helpful once the baby is born. Reach out to them now to see if any of them are willing to stay with you after the birth and help out around the house for a few days.
A mental health professional can also help you figure out ways to boost your self-esteem and get some confidence back.
