For instance, instead of deciding where and when you’ll go on a date, you might ask her what she’d like to do. Of course, figure out what works for you—she might enjoy having you take charge a little more. Just communicate openly about your expectations.
Differences in your core values will be harder to overcome, which is why it’s so important to get to each other on a deeper level early on.
If you’re not financially well-to-do, don’t take her to the most expensive restaurants or bars every time you go out.
No matter how cute she is, your girlfriend probably doesn’t want to be seen as simply arm candy, so this is really important! Let her know you’re interested in learning more about her by asking about her hobbies, likes, and dislikes.
You’re human, so you don’t have to be perfect—just keep in mind that she’ll appreciate if you’re able to use your wisdom and experience to navigate the relationship.
For instance, you might feel like it’s a bad idea for her to drop out of school to become a yoga instructor, but if she’s really passionate about it, that might actually be the best path for her! If you really think you have some perspective that could help her, say something like, “I’ll never tell you what to do, but can I share my thoughts on that situation?”
For instance, you might be ready to settle down and start a family, but she might want to finish college and spend a few years traveling. Ask yourself if you’d be willing to wait for that. Or, she might be the one who wants a family, and you might feel like you’re too old for sleepless nights with a new baby. Are either of you willing to change your mind?
Try saying something like, “I know you probably have a lot of options, but I love our time together. I’m not seeing anyone else, are you?”
If she gets upset about it, try saying something like, “Hey, that doesn’t matter. People will have their opinions and that’s fine, but I enjoy being with you. "
For instance, maybe you’ve always wanted to take up hiking. Ask her if she’d be willing to join you!
Try making a joke about it by saying something like, “We might have watched different Saturday morning cartoons, but your daughter and I have a lot in common!” Over time, if you show that you’re committed and you treat their daughter well, her parents will probably come around.
