“Alex, you’re upset and I understand, but this conversation isn’t helping. Tell me how much time and space you need before we discuss this again. " If the idea of not talking to your guy for days doesn’t sit well with you, ask him if it’s okay to briefly check in via text every 1-2 days just to make sure he’s okay. It’s important to respect his privacy during this time. Try to avoid stalking his social media pages for “clues” or asking friends to check up on him.
You might say, “Erik, I can tell you’re upset with me, but I honestly have no idea why. Please tell me what’s bothering you so I can fix it. " If he isn’t ready to talk about it yet, it’s best to respect his wishes. You’re more likely to resolves things when he’s ready. [4] X Expert Source Raffi Bilek, LCSW-CLicensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
If you interrupt him or jump in to defend yourself before he’s had a chance to tell his side, he’ll probably assume you aren’t interested in what he has to say.
“Ben, I totally get what you’re saying about feeling overwhelmed and confused. I would have felt the exact same way if I were in your shoes. " “I’m glad you told me this, Randall. I had no idea that’s what you were thinking! I completely understand why you’d be mad at me about something like that. " “Your feelings are completely reasonable, Derek. I’m so glad you told me. "
“I know I should have told you about going to that party and it looks bad that I didn’t say anything. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. I was with Kathy and Cheryl the entire night and we had each other’s backs. " “I felt a bit left out when you decided to go out with your friends last Saturday instead of on a date with me. I trust you and I want you to have a good time with your friends, I really do. I shouldn’t have texted you repeatedly and ruined the night for you. That wasn’t fair of me. "
”I’m truly sorry that I said that to you, Dillon. I spoke in anger without pausing to think first. I didn’t mean what I said. Going forward, I’ll be careful not to do that sort of thing again. ”
For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” try “Sometimes I worry that you don’t hear what I’m saying. ”
If you’re arguing about spending time with your friends or his friends this weekend, try alternating days so you’re spending time with both groups: Friday you’ll hang with your friends and Saturday you’ll chill with his. [13] X Research source If he’s upset about always paying for food, gas, and drinks when you go out, tell him you’ll start chipping in and paying half.
Will this argument matter in a week? If you can’t come to an agreement and it’s truly minor, just agree to disagree. The goal is to move forward with your guy. [15] X Research source
For example, if you borrowed his favorite hoodie and damaged it, buy him a new hoodie. It can be exactly like his previous one, you could upgrade to an even cooler hoodie, or even ask him to pick out the one he wants.
If your boyfriend was upset about you texting your ex, commit to not doing it again. You could even go one step further and erase your ex from your contact lists and social media accounts. You didn’t fix the original problem, but you still resolved the situation in the end.
If you don’t have anyone you can talk to and you live in the United States, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) for support and advice. To live chat with someone, visit their website directly at https://www. thehotline. org/.
