Introduce the topic by saying something like, “Can we sit down and talk about what’s been happening the past few weeks? I just want to make sure we’re on the same page going forward. ”

You might say something like, “Yesterday, I snapped at you because I was overwhelmed with work. It wasn’t okay, but I want you to know why I did it. ” For bigger things, like infidelity, you might have to spend a bit more time soul-searching. For instance, you might have cheated because you felt neglected, because you have low self-esteem, or because you were trying to hurt your partner.

You could say something like, “I understand why you feel that way. I’d probably feel the same if I were in your shoes. ”

You might say something like, “I definitely haven’t been making you a priority lately, and that’s not okay. ” Or, “I’m the one who messed up by ignoring you for a whole day. I shouldn’t have done that. ”

Say something like, “I’m really sorry that I haven’t made enough time for you lately. It wasn’t fair of me, and I’m sure it made you feel terrible. ”

For instance, maybe you’re trying to pay more attention to your boyfriend when he talks. If you catch yourself texting or getting on your phone during a conversation, say something like, “Sorry, that was rude of me. What were you saying?”

Try something like, “I want to change to make this relationship work. You mean the world to me, and I don’t want to push you away. ”

Say things like, “How are we doing today from your perspective?” Or, “What could I be doing better?”

If you two live together, one of you could go stay with a friend or family member for a few days before coming back refreshed and ready to talk.

For example, maybe you get overly jealous and it takes a toll on your boyfriend. You might go to therapy to address your jealousy issues to see where they come from. Or, if you’re under a lot of stress that causes you to lash out at your boyfriend, you might try doing stress-relieving activities, like meditation or yoga.

Even if you’re in traditional therapy on your own, couple’s counseling can still be helpful.