Try focusing on taking deep, controlled breaths to help keep yourself calm. [2] X Expert Source Frank BlaneyCertified Tai Chi & Qigong Instructor Expert Interview. 28 September 2021.
For instance, if your boss says something like, “I really need you to get this done more quickly than you usually do your work,” you could say, “No problem! I’ll make it my number one priority. ” Try not to come off as sarcastic. Just focus on being positive and relaxed.
You could say, “Yeah, I totally get it how frustrating this is” or “Trust me, I get why this is so stressful. ”
For example, if your boss tells you, “I don’t think you bothered to send the client information about the project,” you could say, “I’ll double-check and send it over to them right now if they haven’t received it. ” If your boss directs their frustration about a company-wide problem towards you, redirect it with something like, “I see how that’s a problem. Maybe we could make it a new policy so everyone is on the same page. ”
If your boss sends you an email that says, “I need this now not later this week” it really could just be that they’re in a rush and just need something quickly. Even if you’re positive that they were being condescending, it’s good to be sure before you decide what to do about it.
Having some perspective can also make it easier for you to control your emotions and avoid getting upset by their words or actions.
If your boss sends you an email that you think might have a condescending tone, try following up with them about it in their office the get a better idea of whether or not it was intentional.
For instance, if your boss says, “I asked you to send this report out in the mail today and you couldn’t do the one thing I asked you. Did you not hear me? Do you not care?” you could say, “No, I heard you, I just wasn’t able to get to it. ” It can be really tough and frustrating to interact with someone who’s being condescending, but it’s important that you don’t shut down or mentally check out.
If your boss says, “I just don’t understand how you couldn’t get this done. Is it too complicated for you?” you could say, “No, it’s not too complicated, I just may not have fully understood exactly what you wanted. ” If your boss was wrong about something and says, “You haven’t finished the project? Why can’t you ever get anything done on time?” you could say, “You said you needed it by next Friday, so I thought I had more time. ”
To ask for a meeting, try saying, “Can we have a quick chat in your office when you get a chance?” You could practice saying, “It really made me feel bad when you put me down in front of the entire staff at the last meeting. ” You could also say, “I want to do my work well, but if you’re condescending, it makes it harder for me to focus. ” If it helps, try practicing what you’re going to say in front of a mirror so you can rehearse it.
Going to HR may seem extreme, but if you’ve tried everything else, it may be your only option.
