Try saying something like, “I’m here for you,” “You’re not in this alone,” or, “You can talk to me about anything. " Encourage them to talk to you freely by asking follow-up questions, like “Then what happened?” or “Can you tell me more about that?” Let them know that you appreciate them they opened up to you by saying something like, “Thank you so much for sharing that with me. “[3] X Research source

For instance, it’s hard to tell whether someone is being sarcastic or sincere if they simply text, “Great. " In that case, just say, “Sorry, I can’t tell, were you being sarcastic?"[6] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 3 February 2022. You can also ask questions like, “What frustrates you most about that?” or “What’s worrying you the most right now?"[7] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Try putting yourself in their shoes by saying something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling really sad. Is that right?” Always assume the best of intentions and avoid jumping to conclusions. Your perspective and assumptions may be wrong. [8] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 3 February 2022.

For instance, if your partner texts you saying you did something that upset them, don’t send back a long paragraph justifying what you did. Instead, breathe deeply, then reply with something like, “I’m really sorry that I hurt you. Is there anything I can do to make it better?” If a friend messages you saying their partner just left them, don’t immediately start badmouthing the ex. Say something like, “You must be really hurting. Want to get drinks after work and talk about it?”

“You’re right, that is complicated. I’m surprised you’re as calm as you are!"[11] X Research source “I’d be so sad if I lost my dog. I’m so sorry that happened to you. " “It would hurt my feelings if my boss said that to me, too. "

If they say, “I’m always messing things up,” you might say, “Can you tell me more about things you think you’ve messed up?” If they say, “You never listen to me,” you might say, “Are there other times you felt I wasn’t being a good listener?”

For instance, if they’re talking about getting fired from their job, don’t say, “Ugh yeah I had a bad day too. First, my car broke down. . . " It’s fine to share if you can relate to what they’re going through. For instance, you might say, “I felt really angry when my mom died too. I’m here any time you need someone to talk to. "

“It’s probably for the best. " “Everything happens for a reason. " “There are more fish in the sea. " “It could be worse. "

For instance, you might say, “I know I let you down. But you’re one of the smartest, funniest people I know and I really value you as a friend. I hope you can forgive me. " Or, you might say, “I’m so sorry you and Jeff broke up. He’s really missing out if he can’t see how amazing and kind you are. "

“How can I make your life easier right now?” “Is there anything I can do to make things better for you?” “How can I support you best?”

For example, you could say, “It seems like you’re saying you’re really unhappy at your job. If you want, I could help you research other jobs in your field. " You might also say, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I don’t always think before I say things. I’ll try to be more mindful of that, and maybe we could come up with a code word you can say next time I’m crossing a line so I’ll know to stop. "

Say something like, “Can I call you? I have too much to say to text it all. " If you’d rather talk in person, you could say, “Hey are you free to grab a coffee right now? I’d love to talk more about this and it seems like you could use a hug. "

Say something like, “Hey, just wanted to see how you were feeling today. Everything good?” Or, you might say, “Did work go better today? Want to get dinner and talk about it?”