Make sure this journal is completely private so that you can express yourself fully.
For instance, maybe you’ve tried couple’s counseling before and nothing has really changed. If that’s the case, it may be time to move on.
Run errands on your own, take care of your own needs, and make sure you have separate finances from your spouse. Even if you feel fairly codependent, you can always regain your independence if you work toward it.
You might even ask yourself the question, “Would I ever treat my partner this way?” If the answer is no, then it’s probably time to leave the relationship.
Promising to change is how a lot of partners keep their relationships in tact. However, those promises rarely ever actually happen, because it’s easier to just stay the same.
This is a good way to overcome a lot of the fear that comes with ending a marriage. You won’t know what to expect, but you know that it will be different than what you’re going through now (which is a good thing).
You might also take a walk in nature, meditate, do yoga, or soak in a relaxing bubble bath.
They might even be able to offer logistical support, like giving you a place to stay for a while if you move out of your home. Be sure to confide in people who will accept you without judgement. There’s no shame in ending a bad marriage, and you shouldn’t feel the need to excuse your actions to anyone.
If you don’t think your partner would be receptive to this letter, you don’t have to send it at all. Use it as a cathartic exercise for yourself instead.
You might even ask a friend to keep you accountable. If you start having doubts or wondering if you can fix your marriage, talk to them about it and work through what’s happening together.
For instance, your general plan might include: Break the news to my spouse. Pack up my belongings while my spouse is at work. Stay at a hotel for a couple of weeks. Look for an apartment in town. If you have children, don’t forget to include them in your plan as well. Make sure you talk with your spouse about childcare and responsibilities so you know they’re taken care of.
Ending a marriage is hard for anyone. Even if you’re sure about your decision, seeing a therapist is a great way to get some emotional support.
