For instance, for an 8-year-old, you might say something like, “Mommy’s new friend is coming over tonight. ” For a 15-year-old, you might say, “I just want you to know that I’ve gotten back into the dating scene a little bit. ” Even if your child is old enough to know what dating is, calling your new partner a friend can actually help soften the news a little bit. You know your children best, so use the terms that make the most sense to you.
For a younger child, you might say something like, “I know it might sound a little weird, but Daddy is still your Daddy, okay? My friend Richard can be your friend, but he doesn’t have to be your Dad. ” Or, for an older kid, “You might see me and Jessica together, but you don’t need to call her ‘Mom. ’ Your mom is still your mom, and Jessica won’t replace her. ”
Try something like, “How do you feel about this?” or, “What’s going through your head?”
For instance, younger kids might ask something like, “Is your new friend going to live with us?” You could say something like, “No! Not for a while, and maybe not ever. But even if that did happen, it would always be you and me first and foremost. ” While it’s great to listen to your kids and understand where they’re coming from, you don’t have to let them dictate your love life. Hear out their concerns, but don’t stop dating just because they’re not comfortable with it.
You can ask things like, “How do you feel after meeting Nancy?” or, “Any more thoughts about our chat the other day?”
Plus, if your child is young, meeting new partners in quick succession can be very confusing.
For a younger kid, you might say, “Fred is very nice, and he knows a lot about magic tricks! Plus, he loves animals, just like you do. ” Or, for an older child, “Heather is the sweetest person I know. She’s really funny, and I think you two would get along well. ”
Giving your child enough time to adjust is the key element here. If you rush into things or pressure them into a relationship with your partner, they might get resentful of you.
