For example, you might say, “I care more about feeling good in our relationship more than winning an argument,” or “I just want to talk about how I’ve felt lately without getting into a disagreement. ” If you already feel the tensions rising, try saying something like, “I need a minute to cool down, but I’d like to talk about how I’m feeling in a little while. ”
For example, you might say, “I feel like I haven’t gotten as much attention as I need,” or “I feel that I’ve put more effort into our relationship lately. ” If you feel like you’re not getting as much affection, you might say something like, “I wish we could have a little more intimacy,” or, “I miss when we would message cute things to each other all day. ” Stay away from using words like “always” or “never” when you’re talking about the issue since it can make you sound harsher. For example, instead of saying, “You always see your friends instead of me,” you could say, “I’ve noticed you seeing your friends more than me lately. ”
For example, avoid saying something like, “You don’t listen to me when I’m talking. ” Instead, say, “I don’t feel like I’m being heard when I talk about things that are important to me. ” As another example, instead of saying, “You never cuddle with me anymore,” you could say, “I’m sad that we aren’t as physically close as we used to be. ” If you’re not texting as often as you used to, you might try saying, “I wish we could text back and forth like when we first started dating. ”
For example, you could say something like, “When you come home and take a few minutes before saying hi to me, I feel like I’m a second thought. ” As another example, you might say, “When you go out with your friends without asking if I want to come with you, I feel like I’m not as important as them. ” If he isn’t texting you back, you could say, “When I send you a message and it takes a few hours to respond, I feel like I’m being ignored. ” While this may seem like you’re blaming him at first, you’re just talking about how his actions made you feel.
For example, you could say something like, “When you come home and take a few minutes before saying hi to me, I feel like I’m a second thought. ” As another example, you might say, “When you go out with your friends without asking if I want to come with you, I feel like I’m not as important as them. ” If he isn’t texting you back, you could say, “When I send you a message and it takes a few hours to respond, I feel like I’m being ignored. ” While this may seem like you’re blaming him at first, you’re just talking about how his actions made you feel.
For example, you might say something like, “I think I’ll feel better if you ask me to hang out on the weekend before making plans with your friends. ” As another example, you might try, “I’d love it if you could take over planning a few more of our dates so we can balance it out. ” If you want to be more physically intimate, you could say, “I really want to make some time where we can cuddle and be affectionate every day. ” Some people have a harder time adjusting to changes than others, so be patient with your boyfriend. As long as you see him putting in the effort, he’s doing the best he can.
For example, you might say, “Now that I’ve told you what I need, is there something more you need from me?” As another example, you could say something like, “How can I help you feel better in our relationship too?”
For example, you might compromise that your boyfriend can have a night or two each week to spend with friends without asking you. As another example, if you want more physical affection, you might decide to schedule times every day where you can be close and cuddly without any other distractions.
Your boyfriend may try talking to you in person again or write another letter back.
For example, you might say something like, “I really appreciate you spending time with me tonight,” or “Thanks so much for getting these flowers for me. It means the world to me!” You could also say something like, “It meant a lot when you asked to spend time with me tonight,” or “Thank you for checking up on me even though you’re with your friends.
For example, if you notice that your boyfriend has had a rough day, you could give him a massage and ask him what you can do to help him relax. If he still doesn’t recognize that you want him to do the same thing for you, then you
Ask your boyfriend to plan some dates or one-on-one times so you’re not the one always pulling it together.
