This is especially true if you like her. If you’ve got a crush, you still need to treat her with respect and normalcy. That doesn’t mean you can’t flirt or express your feelings, but you do need to treat her like a regular person.
Avoid any kind of self-deprecating humor. You want to laugh with her, not at yourself. Don’t downplay your skills or knowledge. At the same time, don’t go out of your way to lie or try to make yourself sound like the best thing since sliced bread. Just be yourself!
If you don’t know her, then introduce yourself. Just say, “Hey, I’m Brian. What’s your name?” This is simple but effective. If you do know the girl, just say, “Hi, How are you?” or “What have you been up to?” You don’t have to be too elaborate here – you just want to walk up to her like it’s no big deal. You could also say, “You ready for the test today?” or, “That rain this morning was crazy. ”
Don’t come out too strong by getting super close to her or touching her. Unless she “accidentally” grazes against you first or she goes out of her way to give you a hug, assume she doesn’t want anything physical to happen. [5] X Expert Source Connell BarrettDating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
For example, you might say “Can you believe how hot it was this weekend? I was supposed to go out, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go outside. What did you do?” You might start, “You ever seen The Avengers? I just started watching it last night. It’s really good. ” If you just come straight out and start asking her about her deepest dreams and desires, she may feel kind of overwhelmed and put-off.
Remember, you have to actually listen to her! Don’t get super caught up thinking about your next move; just follow along and let the conversation develop organically. Build off of what she says. If she just mentioned the teacher in the class, you might ask, “What do you think of Mr. Dwyer?” or, “Did you have as much trouble as I did with last night’s homework?”
Avoid short, one-word answers since they tend to put an end to conversations really quickly. If she asks you a question and you just say, “Yes” or “No,” you’re not really giving her anything to work off of. If she starts turning away from you and acting like she doesn’t want to keep talking, let it go. You can always try chatting her up in the future. For example, if she says, “I can’t stand this class,” you might say, “Yeah, it’s definitely a tough one sometimes. History is my worst subject. ” If she starts talking about a movie you haven’t seen or something like that, you might say, “You know, I haven’t seen that one. Is it worth watching?”
For example, you might say, “I really liked your argument in history class,” or, “I heard you made the starting team in basketball. Congrats!” You could also say, “I really like your headband,” or, “Those shoes are really slick. ” Don’t get too personal or physical with the compliment. If she feels like you’re objectifying her, she won’t want to keep talking. This is a particularly good idea if the conversation ever reaches an abrupt stop. Throwing a compliment out is a great way to redirect the conversation into a new, positive space.
The more you can guide the conversation towards topics that excite both of you, the more intimate and meaningful your conversation will get over time.
You may also come off as a little self-centered if you keep throwing out personal anecdotes or talking about yourself without giving her an opportunity to share. For example, if she says something like, “Are you taking anyone to the homecoming dance?” you might say something like, “I’m still weighing my options,” and play it off with a flirty smile. If she asks you, “How are you doing in Mr. Booker’s geometry class?” you might say, “I’m doing alright. How are you doing over there? He’s kind of a tough teacher. ”
For example, you could say, “I like talking to you. We should hang out sometime!” You could also come up with an excuse for asking for her number. If you were just talking about books, you could say, “Do you want to give me your number? I’ll text you the name of that author when I get home. ”