If you usually reach out to see each other, try making plans with other people or rearranging your schedule so you don’t have free time to spend together. You should stay away from places that you both go to frequently, like stores or cafes that you’ve seen each other at before.
“My workload is crazy!” “I’m feeling pretty tired. ” “I already have plans!” “I have a family emergency. ” “My parents/roommates want me to stay in. ”
Limit your conversation to boring, surface-level questions and answers so that it doesn’t last long. You don’t have to be overly friendly. If you respect and care about them as a person, you probably don’t want to totally hurt their feelings by being outright cold to them. For example, if they ask, “How are you?” just respond with “I’m good. How are you?” Treating them like just another regular person you know can help you emotionally detach yourself from them, too!
Ignoring messages can be emotionally difficult. You might feel sad seeing their name pop up on your phone. You can stop yourself from seeing them by blocking them. If unfollowing or blocking seems too extreme for your situation, a lot of social media platforms let you “mute” a person so you can’t see their activity. You might want to get off social media altogether for a while, since it can affect your mental health. Get outside and see your friends IRL instead!
“There’s something I need to talk to you about. Is now a good time?” “I really like you, but I don’t think it’s going to work out between us. ” “I need to distance myself from you and my feelings for you. ” “I think not talking is the best decision for both of us, and I’m sticking to it. ”
Separating from your emotions and giving yourself a reality check isn’t easy! It can help to remind yourself out loud of all the reasons why you shouldn’t talk to them. Use your own voice as your voice of reason.
It’s really important that you don’t feel lonely and keep your social life active during this time. Hang out with friends, spend quality time with family, or reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time. [11] X Expert Source Julia Yacoob, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 July 2021. If you feel comfortable talking about your situation, your loved ones can be a really great support system for you.
Plan a fitness goal and begin an exercise routine. Do something creative, like making art or redecorating your bedroom. Teach yourself to cook something new. Take a class or workshop on something you’re interested in. Go above and beyond on job or class assignments.
Fun plans you have with friends in the upcoming weeks. Projects you’re excited about finishing. A new book, movie, or videogame you’re obsessed with. Travelling somewhere or trying something new. What you’re going to do with your weekend.
You can allow yourself to miss talking to them. Just assure yourself that this feeling won’t last forever. Sometimes putting your feelings into words can help you process them. Write your feelings down in a journal, or talk to a friend about them.
If there’s someone else you’re already interested in, try talking to them to get your mind off the person you’re trying to stop talking to. You don’t even have to talk! Just having a crush on a new person from afar can be enough to emotionally distance yourself from someone else. Just remember your relationship must-haves, and why your last crush wasn’t right for you. Don’t let history repeat itself!
