If you’re feeling guilty over your feelings of lust, it’s important to make peace with these feelings. Remember that lust doesn’t have to control your behavior, but it is totally normal to experience.
If you’re at home with your girlfriend and finding yourself way too distracted by thoughts of sex, ask her to take a walk with you. Say something like, “Hey, it’s a nice day out—want to head to the park?”
Don’t beat yourself up if you occasionally get carried away by your sexual fantasies. There’s really nothing wrong with this. But if you find it impacting your behavior and the way you treat your girlfriend, it may be a problem that you want to address.
For example, you might say something like, “Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something that has been bothering me. I really feel so attracted to you, and it’s started to become distracting for me. I’m wondering if we can work out a way to guide our relationship in the direction of love, not lust. ” Everyone is different, and your girlfriend might react to this news by feeling flattered or by feeling a bit worried, especially if she doesn’t feel the same about this issue. But remember: part of being in a relationship is learning how to talk through tricky issues.
Bringing this up with your girlfriend can make for a really tough conversation. Remind her of your feelings for her and say something like, “I really care about you a lot, and I want this relationship to work. But I find myself having a hard time thinking about anything other than you. Do you think we could check in with each other a couple times a day instead of all day long?”
There are also plenty of apps and other tools to help you practice mindfulness. Explore some of these tools to see if there are any that appeal to you.
If you’re Christian, remember this verse from Corinthians: “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. ” (Corinthians 10:13) For Muslims, the Quran also provides guidance against temptation: “But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure desires and evil lusts, verily, Paradise will be his abode. ” (An-Nazi’at 79:40-41)
