Remember, you don’t have to say everything at once: you can acknowledge their text so they know you got it, and then respond more fully later when you have collected your thoughts and emotions. [2] X Research source The most important thing is to not tailspin/jump to conclusions. Dating makes us all vulnerable, and the feeling of rejection—whether we are actually being rejected or not—can cause us to react rashly. [3] X Research source Also consider: “I appreciate the heads up. ”
Keep things in perspective: remember everyone feels rejection or disappointment at some point—you may have even canceled on a date before yourself![5] X Research source This strategy will help you in the long run, too: studies show people who give others the benefit of the doubt tend to be happier in their relationships than people who assume the worst![6] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source But if you are struggling with disappointment, don’t pretend you aren’t. If you want to try again with them, do it without holding a grudge. [7] X Research source Also consider: “No worries,” “That’s cool,” or “We’ve all been there. ” The last text in particular will show them not only that you are sympathetic, but that you can relate to their position.
Depending on the reason for their cancellation, also consider: “Let me know if I can do anything” or, even more direct, “What can I do to help?”
If you aren’t able to pin them down for a date at some point within the next two weeks, it might be a sign to move on. [8] X Research source Also consider: “I look forward to trying again in the future. ”
“What’s next week like for you?”
If your plans were for something that can’t be rescheduled, like a concert, try reconfiguring your plans: “Maybe we can listen to the new album together over dinner tomorrow instead. ”
But make sure to show understanding, as well. Assuring them you understand will alleviate any guilt they may feel over canceling your date. “I’m sorry we couldn’t make tonight work. ”
Your date will be relieved to know that your night has been salvaged. Making other plans will also show your date that you are independent and lead a full life, which may make them all the more interested in you.
Their reaction to your confrontation will also tell you something about them: if they are apologetic and receptive to discussing the issue with you, it may be an indicator they are worth another shot. “I thought everything was going well. Is anything wrong?” “It hurts when you cancel last-minute. Can we talk about it?”
You can be vague—“Unfortunately, I don’t think we should see each other anymore”—or specific—“I don’t feel like a priority, so this isn’t going to work for me. ”
