Taking time to be in the moment can help with this. Focus on your breathing, and do your best to focus on the task at hand. If you’re feeling inclined, conduct an experiment to see just how few people are really paying attention to you. Try going to a public place and making yourself stand out by wearing something loud or doing something unusual. You’ll find that few people actually heed these things. For example, wear a large watch and repeatedly ask passersby the time. It may make you feel at peace to know you’re not the center of attention.
A worthwhile guy might say, “I think it’s cool that you’re not afraid to be yourself. " Even so, that opinion shouldn’t be needed to validate your choices. You make your choices for a reason. You may find it makes you even more desirable to others when you don’t care about fitting in. It makes you seem confident.
Say something about something you noticed about them. For instance, you could say, “I noticed that you wear skater shoes. Do you like to skateboard?” or “That was a cool drawing you did in art class. Where’d you get that idea?” Getting them talking about something they like can be a good way to give yourself time to get more comfortable in the social situation. Practice getting rejected. It’s a part of life, and not all people will approve of you. Even if it’s uncomfortable at first, embracing your fear can make it a less powerful force in your life.
For instance, if you aren’t comfortable with a situation, staying out past curfew for example, you can say, “I’m not going to stay out late. I’ll be grounded for sure, and I really want to be able to hang out again soon. " This can let them know that you aren’t willing to get in trouble for them, but that you are interested in hanging out again.
Look at your accomplishments, your friendships, what makes you unique. This can help you gain a perspective on what’s awesome about you. Don’t compare yourself to others. This can only hurt whether by making you feel superior to others or by making feel like you don’t measure up.
When you think about being perfect, instead ask yourself what it is you really want. Often it’s external influences that want us to be perfect, and you may find that being perfect gets in the way of what you really want, such as happiness, writing a book, or anything else that you might have a goal.
If you are embarrassed about something in your life (where you live, the car you drive, etc. ), you may need to stop and take stock of why you feel that way. Is it others’ expectations? When someone doesn’t like something you like, say, “That’s cool, but I like what I like. " They can make fun of you or bully you for it, but they can’t make you not like it.
