Will my partner threaten me or try to stop me when I break it off? Will my partner make a fuss if I take the child with me? Can my partner be trusted to care for our child in my absence? Do I have enough money to provide food and shelter for my child? Do I have a place to go where my partner can’t find me?
Let trusted friends or family members know what you’re planning so they can support you. Ask them to check in with you after the conversation to make sure you’re safe. If your partner threatens to commit suicide or hurt you if you leave them, call emergency services immediately.
If you need advice or help, visit https://www. thehotline. org/ and live chat with a professional. You can also call them at 1-800-799-7233. Instead of staying silent, it’s a good idea to report domestic violence to the authorities.
If you have a small child, you might say, “Sometimes moms and dads stop loving each another. It’s really sad when that happens, but I promise you it’s going to be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. ” For an older child, you might say, “Your father and I don’t get along, so we aren’t going to live together anymore. But don’t worry, we both love you very much and you’re still going to see both of us. ” As your child gets older, you can explain the breakup in more detail.
Answer any questions they have about the breakup. Encourage your child to share their feelings with you. Remind them that it’s normal to have strong feelings about the breakup. Say “I love you” and reassure them that you’ll be by their side.
Be sure to explain logistical information, like changes to your child’s living arrangements or daily activities. Remember to be as clear as possible, but avoid overloading them with too much detail all at once. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Experts believe that a couple’s irritation and anger at one another often spills over into their relationships with the kids. [9] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source Start a journal or make a list of all the reasons why you’re ending the relationship. That way, you’ll always have reminders on hand. [10] X Research source
Even simple things, like following the same basic schedule for dinnertime, homework, bath time, etc. can help put your child at ease. Maintain the same rules, rewards, and disciplinary measures that your child is used to. [12] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
If you don’t have any close friends or family that you can talk to, check for breakup/separation/divorce support groups in your area. [14] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
To find a therapist in your area, try Googling “mental health professionals + your zip code” or “therapists + your city. " If you’re having trouble finding a therapist to meet you in person, try reaching out to one online using BetterHelp.
