If you’re finessing someone who happens to be too sympathetic for their own good, averting your gaze may be a better way to draw your target in.
This will also give you an opportunity to pick up on key information you need later. If you get pulled over for speeding and the cop starts ranting about how tired they are and how they just want to go home, you’ll be able to bring that up later if you need to plead your way out of the ticket!
Say you’re buying a car. Think about the difference between, “Hey, is there any way I can get a free warranty?” and, “James, my friend, I know you take care of people here, and…James, look, you know, I need some help here on the warranty. What can you do for me?”
You may actually want to undermine the other person if you’re already coming from a position of strength or authority. For example, if a guy is chatting you up at a bar and they’re clearly into you, a sly joke about how goofy or silly they are may draw them in even further!
This is especially key if you’re playing a longer game. If there’s a girl in your life you’re trying to get to see you in a different light, consistently expressing gratitude will really make you stand out from the crowd.
This is a great way to change the flow of a conversation if the other person becomes suspicious of your motivation. If they suggest you might be laying the groundwork for a finesse, you could laugh and go, “What, you think I’m some kind of criminal mastermind!?” Smile and play it off.
Let’s say you’ve rubbed shoulders with a famous politician. Referencing them can make you seem important, and it’d be a great way to get a sense for someone’s political leanings.
There are scenarios where you may want to be a little negative. It all depends on what type of energy the other person if giving off.
For example, let’s say you’re trying to convince a friend to loan you money. If you know your friend is a little lonely, you might talk about how you like spending time with them, or how the two of you should spend more time together before asking the question.
