When they’re ready to apologize or if you feel ready to talk, feel free to open up your line of communication again. You may need more time away from someone if they severely broke your trust, such as if a family member stole from you or said something damaging about you behind your back.
If you feel like you need to cry, do it. It’ll feel a lot easier to move on after getting through the negativity you feel now.
No one else is going to read your journal except for you. It’s okay to say whatever you want without censoring yourself if it helps you process your feelings.
An easy breathing exercise you can try when you’re stressed is breathing in through your nose for 4 counts, holding your breath for 7 counts, and slowly exhaling through your nose for 8 counts. [7] X Research source
For example, you could say to yourself, “I am not responsible for my brother’s actions and I did everything that I could. ”
For example, use the opportunity to reach out to friends and other family members that care about you so you can keep those relationships strong.
Be careful not to overwhelm your friends with your problems. Always ask if they’re open to chatting about heavy topics before going into them.
As the person that was betrayed, you control how often you talk to your family member and how long your conversations are. [12] X Expert Source Adam Dorsay, PsyDLicensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker Expert Interview. 14 May 2019.
For example, avoid saying something like, “You lied to me and made me feel bad,” since it feels accusatory. You could instead say something like, “I felt really upset when I found out you had been lying to me. ”
For example, there may be a good reason that a family member told you a small lie. Avoid lashing out while your family member explains their thoughts so you have a chance to think it over.
For example, if your family member exposed some of your secrets, you may keep some information to yourself when you see them instead of telling them everything. As another example, if your family member stole something from you, you may still see them in public but avoid inviting them over. Even though they’re your family, you’re not obligated to maintain relationships with them if you don’t feel like you can trust them. [16] X Research source
For example, you may want to move on or cut ties if your family member doesn’t apologize or continues to betray you in the same way without taking any responsibility. [18] X Research source Remember, forgiving someone isn’t excusing their behavior. It’s giving yourself the permission to move on and not let the thoughts of the situation affect you anymore.
You may be able to go with your family member to a therapist so you can work through the problem together.
