If you decide to call them, consider texting them to ask for a good time to reach them on the phone. That way they won’t be caught off guard by your phone call. If you cancel in person, make sure that the two of you are in private. This will make the person more comfortable during the conversation.
If you can, give your date at least 24 hours’ notice.
Begin with, “Thanks so much for asking me to hang out on Tuesday. " You can also try starting with, “I think you’re such a cool person. "
Text them something like, “Hey! I’ve really enjoyed talking with you and you seem super cool. I wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be able to go out next week like I’d thought, though. " Follow that with your reasoning if you’re comfortable sharing. Message them or say something like, “I just don’t feel a connection” or “I’m just not looking to date at the moment. "
Text them, “I’m so sorry to have to cancel, but I am just swamped at work. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make our date on Tuesday. " Be careful with this option, though. If you simply give an excuse, your date may try to reschedule. If they do, tell them that you can’t reschedule right now. They’ll probably get the hint.
Message the person, “Hey! I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, but I have to let you know that I can’t go out on Thursday. I just got out of a serious relationship, and I’ve realized I’m not ready to date yet. "
Try adding something like, “I think you’re a great person, but I don’t feel a romantic connection. I hope you understand!” or “Though I really enjoyed our last date, I’m not interested in continuing this relationship. I wish you nothing but the best. " It might feel uncomfortable to be direct like this, but the person will likely appreciate your honesty. You really don’t want to mislead them into thinking you’re interested or open to them if you’re really not.
To suggest a group hangout, say, “I won’t be able to go on a date, but I’d love for a group of us to get together as friends if you’re interested. What if we all went to see a movie sometime soon?” If the person is a coworker or a classmate, try, “I’m not going to be able to go forward with our date, but I’m looking forward to seeing you in class on Monday!”
Being rejected isn’t an excuse for rude or aggressive behavior.
Rejecting someone or turning down a date isn’t unkind. It just means you aren’t compatible.
Ghosting may cause them to keep reaching out, which will be uncomfortable for everyone involved. Treat the person like you would want to be treated. Though canceling a date is uncomfortable, it’s best to be kind and direct.
