It’s less common, but some people do accuse their partners of cheating because they themselves are cheating or almost cheating. If that’s the case, you may want to examine your own actions to make sure you’re being faithful and not crossing any boundaries.
You might also assume your girlfriend is cheating if you were raised to belief that people are naturally unfaithful. [7] X Expert Source Vernita Marsh, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist, Consultant, & Speaker Expert Interview. 7 April 2022. It can be tough to work through emotions like that on your own. If you’re having trouble, talking to a mental health professional might be helpful.
You might say something like, “I wanted to let you know that I’m working through some emotions surrounding infidelity. I know that being accused of cheating all the time is hard, and I really am trying my best to stop it. ”
Maybe your girlfriend is doing something that makes you feel insecure, like DMing people on social media or chatting with guys when she’s out. Try talking to her about this and addressing the problem so you don’t keep thinking about it over time. Talk to her using “I feel” statements. For instance, you might say, “I sometimes feel worried that you’re talking to other dudes online. ”[10] X Research source
For example, you might think to yourself, “My girlfriend loves me, and she shows me that every day. She’d never intentionally hurt me. ”
It can take some time for these challenges to actually stick. The more you can call attention to your fear-based thoughts, the easier it will be to change them over time.
You might tell yourself something like, “I can’t change what my girlfriend does. I can, however, change how I react to it and how I feel about it. ”
Good things to list include: “I am funny,” “I’m a kind friend,” “I’m a loving partner,” “I care for my friends and family. ”
When you’re so involved with your relationship, it can feel like your girlfriend cheating would be the end of the world. While it would definitely be tough, if you can maintain your independence, you might feel a little better about your chances of making it on your own (if you had to).
You could ask her things like, “Do you feel secure in our relationship?” and, “How do you feel like I’m doing?”
You could also try taking a nature walk, exercising, or listening to soothing music.